A Life Once Lived
by ArthursShadow
Summary: She had a life once, but she doesn't remember. All she knows is the ashes and blood she tastes as she wakes up yet again - She's got one more try to get it right. Haesel hadn't quite thought of this when she'd accepted Death's 'chance to live with those she'd lost'. AU, time travel, fem!Harry, T for now? (extra info inside )
1. From the Shadows

**Hi!**

**Hopefully this is the one and only Author's Note I'll be putting up (maybe another if an issue comes up that needs to be addressed), but I need one to issue some warnings!**

**First of all, this is a fem!Harry fic which contains time travel. This idea's been hanging around my head for years now, so I've definitely put some thought in it – so please, think of that before questioning the plot overly much. That said, I do appreciate constructive criticism, very much! I might even use suggestions.**

**I'm a very busy person, unfortunately, between university, being active in a youth action group (nothing bad I promise) trying to have a social live and living alone. Oh, and a job as well. So I might not update every day, so to speak although I'm not giving up on this story either! I always finish what I start. I promise :)**

**I'll put this story on both Archive of Our Own (AO3) and , under the same name.**

**Ehm, I think that's it! I hope you enjoy and please leave a review if you have time. They're very encouraging when writing ^^ Happy reading!**

**Sigy Artyn**

**Arthur's Shadow**

Flashes of light. A single star living and then exploding. A great booming noise that reverberated through her very bones. Ripples like concentric circles through time as the universe formed over and over again.

If there is nothing faster than the speed of light, why is darkness always there before it?

Impossible green eyes snap open to a hazy world and immediately close again. She groans in pain, wondering what has happened to her as slowly awareness comes back to her. There are voices like static noise buzzing in and out. She catches only a few words before it all grows dark once more.

"-she ever recover fully?"

"We may never know. As soon as she is able to stay awake for longer periods, we will be able to make certain -"

If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, what sound does it make?

The second time she comes to the world was a little bit more clear. She blinks awake. She is in a bed. The sheets are white and feel soft to her bare legs and arms. She takes that to mean she's wearing only a short gown and there is a high probability of her being in a hospital of some sort.

She looks around.

There is someone sitting on the chair beside the bed, a little girl seemingly composed by an artist with only two colours; red and creamy white. She vaguely thinks that the girl seems familiar, but the thought slips away before she can catch and examine it. The little girl is reading a book so large it doesn't quite fit on her skinny legs.

The girl looks up the moment she contemplates the amusing thought and green eyes meet green eyes before the girl on the bed blacks out again.

Is there life after death? She doesn't know.

She feels too little, as if there isn't enough of her for some reason. It might be the clothes, which are too big on her thin frame, but she knows that's not it.

For the life of her, she couldn't have said what was, though.

"Haesel, are you coming?" a woman's voice calls out. The girl looks into the mirror one last time and then exits the small bathroom. There's a woman waiting in the room, sitting on the bed clutching a child's coat and a purse. She smiles.

Haesel tries to smile back. The woman – no, Ivy Evans, Aunt Ivy, not the woman – clearly appreciates the effort and holds the coat out.

"Come here, I'll help you." she says. Haesel shrugs, mindful of the cast on her left arm and the bandages stiff around her torso and right shoulder. She wonders if there'll be a time she'll be able to move as a normal person again, but then she thinks of how difficult it was to move even her pinkie just months earlier and is thankful for the ability to walk again.

Aunt Ivy's hands are soft when she helps Haesel with the coat. She tightens the last button and sighs, resting a hand on Haesel's uninjured, or rather, already healed left shoulder.

Haesel has no words for her question, so she just looks at her, wondering. Aunt Ivy sits down on the chair beside the bed. There are lines around her eyes that weren't there before, and the hand falls away from Haesel. She wishes she didn't feel the cold feeling it leaves behind.

"Haesel.." Aunt Ivy sighs.

Haesel looks up to her.

Aunt Ivy doesn't know how to continue. She chews her lower lip anxiously, worries the clasp of her handbag.

"I know.. I know it must be bothering you. That you can't remember." She eventually starts. Haesel licks her suddenly dry lips. Ivy laughs softly, but there is no music in the sound.

"It would bother me, waking up in an unfamiliar hospital, being told that my father and mother are dead yet not even knowing who they were... It would bother me." she sighs again and looks up, this time in straight into Haesel's eyes.

They have the same eye colour, the same almond shape as Ivy's own daughter. They are the eyes Ivy and her sister Ianthe got from their father and passed on to their children in turn.

Ivy tries to hide a flinch. Haesel is the only thing she has left of Ianthe now.

"I don't.." Haesel doesn't like to speak; it shows in the hesitant way she utters the vowels and the soft, almost too quiet voice. "I don't remember. That is why.. it may not bother me. I don't remember."

Aunt Ivy blinks. She's back to seeing Haesel as her own person, Haesel knows it. It feels harsh, but Haesel can't remember this person Aunt Ivy compares her too – her dead younger sister who was apparently Haesel's mum. Haesel can't remember anything but curious flashes of a life that was her own yet not.

She doesn't mention the dreams to those who call themselves her family. There's blood in them, war and rage as humans fight humans and others, too. Though she can't remember anything about her own life she knows many things, and mythology is one of those. There are werewolves and centaurs in her dreams and that is why she can not speak of them.

Amnesia is much easier to handle than a mental institution.

She sees the pain in her Aunt's eyes, but Aunt Ivy is a good person at heart and doesn't blame Haesel, that Haesel knows. She pities her too much to blame her.

Aunt Ivy stands. "Come on, let's get home. Robert and the girls are waiting for us."

Haesel tries the smile again. It still feels fake and unused.

Aunt Ivy is a modern woman, and so she can drive. Aunt Ivy doesn't ask her to put on her seatbelt, aware it could rub agains the wounds that have only half healed. She watches Haesel warily, prepared to intervene should it become necessary. Haesel doesn't mind. She supposedly lost her parents and almost her life in a car accident, after all.

The drive isn't that long. Haesel remembers that someone told her the accident happened in Germany and that she'd been flown over to London soon after initial surgery, so her family could visit her. What was left of her parents' bodies was also flown over, but Haesel doesn't remember anything about a funeral. She assumes it happened while she was still in a coma.

Aunt Ivy had taken a hotel room in the city and visited the most, taking care of everything that needed to be taken care of. When Haesel was doing better, they moved her yet again, to a smaller revalidation home closer to where the Evans family live.

When they arrive the rest of the family exits the house at the sound of tires on gravel. There's Uncle Robert, blond haired to Ivy's fiery red and the calm to her liveliness, as Haesel has found out. They balance each other, and Haesel is glad. On some level she is happy these people are her family – it is easy enough to fantasise about parents if she has a model to build upon.

Aunt Ivy and Uncle Robert have two daughters. The eldest is called Petunia. She takes after her father and though she's not more than three years Haesel's senior, she already seems to be in a sort of gangly, awkward teenage phrase. The smile on her face is honest and warm, though.

In contrast Lily, the second daughter, is still a child and a very lovely one too. She has red hair like Ivy and the green eyes. She hardly waits until Aunt Ivy is out of the car to rush to Haesel's door and open it. She extends a hand, obviously wanting to help her.

Haesel can't find fault in her enthusiasm. Like always, Lily is mindful of her injuries, but she is also mindful of Haesel herself and chatters away a mile an hour about how exited she is that Haesel is coming to live with them.

" - and you'll be staying with me in my room, 'cause it's the biggest! We've got the bestest view ever, of the garden! I'll show it to you later, the garden I mean, I'll show you our room first -"

"Breathe, Lily-pad." Uncle Robert laughs, resting his hands on Lily's shoulders to keep her still. He looks up to Haesel. "Welcome to our home, Haesel dear. I hope you'll like it."

She nods. The house is moderately large, with a porch, garage and a garden in the front and the back, from what she can see. There's a large tree standing near the house. Haesel likes it. It may be just another in a row of fairly identical houses in the better neighbourhood of this little town, but it looks warm and welcoming, just like her family.

A warm feeling fills her.

Her family.

Time passes, as it is wont to do.

Haesel heals in body, and she thinks maybe in mind, also. It's easier, adapting, when you don't remember how things were done before. She feels blank sometimes.

Luckily, she has sisters now, and they don't hesitate to write in the empty book she feels she's always been. She's closer to Lily. They're the same age, in fact, they even share the same birthday. Lily tells her all about it one day, full of energy, as Lily usually is.

"I was pretty sad I'd never met you, because we were born the same day and all! Mum says you're younger, because she got pregnant first or something, and that it was a huge surprise when Uncle Erwin called to let Mum and Dad know you were born. You were three weeks early! Mum says you were really tiny. I was way bigger than you!" she grins when she says that. She still is by a full inch.

They're on the swings in the nearby park. It's hot. Summer has already begun. Haesel has been living with the Evanses for five months now. It's been almost a year since she lost her parents and her memory.

Haesel tilts her head back and watches her hair fall like a curtain behind her. It's an inky black. It's the only real difference between Lily and her beside the height. They both look like their mothers, who were identical twins.

It seems like Lily has been thinking the same thing as Haesel. She stops the swing and looks at Haesel. Feeling the scrutiny, the black haired girl pulls herself back into a vertical position.

"Say, Haesel..." Lily lets her words trail off.

"Yes?" Haesel isn't sure if she likes the contemplating look Lily is wearing. She has the feeling that whatever Lily is going to say now won't be a good idea.

"You know, we look really alike. We're both from the same year – we even share a birthday!"

Haesel has the idea she knows where this is going and opens her mouth to say it's a stupid idea, but the words get buried beneath the lump suddenly tight in her throat. She closes her mouth again.

"We could pretend to be twins! Mum and Dad could officially adopt you or something, they've already got custody of you because they're your lawful guardians, but they could make it official! Petunia won't mind at all, she likes babying you more than me – which I am fine with, truly! -"

Haesel holds up a hand, effectively cutting Lily off. The redhead falls silent.

It is quiet for a minute. Haesel has tipped her head back and looks at the blue sky, contemplating the slow movement of the lazy white clouds. She can feel Lily's burning stare.

"I've always wanted a twin sister." Lily speaks up softly. She's dropped her gaze to eye her sandals, a hand twisting in her summer dress. "Tuney is so much older than me, and then Mum and Dad told me about you and how you were my age, and you looked so much like me.."

She pauses. A swift kick to the ground and she's airborne again. Haesel can see her in her peripheral vision, moving in and out the faster she's going.

"I've got to show you something, though!" Lily cries and then, as she is as high as the swing will go and Haesel feels worry coil in her belly, she lets go of the ropes and for a moment she soars.

"Lily!" Haesel isn't sure who is screaming until she notices she's the one making that noise. She jumps off the swing, her arms outstretched as far as they can go, willing with all her might that she could catch her, the girl that has become so very dear to her.

Suddenly she's there, clutching Lily in her thin arms and they crash on the unforgiving ground far to far from the swings to be all together possible.

It's silent for a minute. Haesel imagines the dust settling around them and is grateful that they're alone at the playground. It's lunchtime and they're going to be late, she knows that. She also knows she isn't going anywhere until Lily has told her what that was about, what she did... and what Haesel herself did.

Lily sits up first, pulling Haesel with her. She grimaces at the tear in her skirt, Mummy'll be mad now for sure – as if the scrapes on their knees and arms, the dust and dirt on their faces won't tell on them before she can even see the damage to their clothes.

Haesel glowers at her. Lily is a little intimidated. For such a fragile looking child, Haesel certainly looks very, very dangerous right now. Lily figures she's got no more than five seconds to start talking so she wastes no more of her precious time. Where to start, though? Maybe, as the saying goes, the beginning is the best place?

She's known it her entire life, but she's never had words for it so she's strangely at loss how to speak about it even though she's never wanted to do so more.

Haesel's left eye twitches.

"Right." Lily says and she's talking, then. She can't seem to stop once she's started, a bad trait of hers. "I've sort of had it my entire life? I don't know what _it_ is, exactly – only that neither Mum or Dad or Tuney have it. It mostly happens when I'm angry, or hurt, but I've been able to do it without really intense feelings. It's hard to do though, I've got to focus very much, and I can't do much, just float when I jump of the swing, like controlling my descent? And oh! This, too!"

She grabs at a dead flower nearby. She's got no clue how it got here, probably plucked then dropped when it was less fresh than expected. It'll do for what she's got in mind never the less.

Lily focusses so hard on the flower that it looks as if she's wanting it to drop dead or burst into flames. Instead, it slowly starts to float and the petals regain colour as they open and close. She glances back to Haesel, triumphant.

Haesel's eyes are wide and incredibly frightened.

Lily drops the flower but the harm seems to be done already. Haesel is so pale Lily is afraid she's going to faint any second now and for a fleeting second Lily deeply regrets showing off. What if Haesel never wants anything to do with her anymore now? What if.. she doesn't want to be her sister now? Has she destroyed all her chances?

Haesel opens her mouth a few times only to close it without saying anything. Wind brushes past them and red and black hair is moved gently as the moment stretches on into eternity. Then, softly almost as if she's not believing she's doing this, Haesel picks the flower up again, holds it in the palm of her hand. She swallows with difficulty.

She suddenly remembers the dreams in even more clarity and she can almost taste ash and blood on the back of her tongue as she makes the flower float again.

Haesel raises her eyes and green meets green. With an improbably sense of destiny, both girls know there's no going back now.

Half an hour later sees them arriving home, dresses dirty and knees bloody. Ivy scolds them before sighing, telling them to go clean up before coming down for lunch 'and you're not going to the park alone now anymore, you hear?'

Lily grins as she catches Haesel's eyes and Haesel smiles.


	2. I awoke

It's a hot summer day and Haesel is laying outside in the garden. There's a book covering her face. Her arms are spread and she curls her toes in the grass, sighing happily.

Sometimes, she's just glad to be alive and today is one of those days.

She's too content to read, so she just lies back and thinks instead. She opens her eyes looking up at the book, but it's too close to read and the words become smudges of black ink. She feels guilty for being so happy. Tomorrow she'll have been an orphan for a full year, and yet here she is feeling content.

She lets out a deep sigh.

Suddenly the book disappears and all Haesel can do is shut her eyes as fast as she can to avoid looking straight into the bright sun. A soft chuckle betrays Petunia en Haesel tries to glare without opening her eyes. Petunia's laugh tells her it isn't very effective.

"Stop having a wee guilt-fest, you little." Petunia says and Haesel wants to curse her for being so spot on. For some reason her elder sister - cousin a voice in the back of her mind reminds her gently - is very adept at reading her. She's not as good as Lily is at it because sometimes it almost seems like Lily and Haesel share a mind, but she's older, a little wiser and her interpretation often carries slightly more weight.

Haesel mumbles something but she herself is not sure what it's meant to be. Petunia's remark has hit a little to close to home.

A hand sweeps the wild hair off her forehead. Petunia's come from the inside where it is cooler so her hand is nice and refreshing. Haesel wants to cuddle right into it.

Sometimes she wonders if she was a cat in a previous life, if there is indeed such a thing.

The light has become bearable and Haesel opens her eyes cautiously. Petunia is staring off into the distance, mind on other things. She looks comfortable off into her own world, but Haesel is curious to what she wants with her so she nudges Petunia's hand with a finger where it's laying on her forehead still.

She would say that Petunia starts, for that's exactly it, but the elder girl would deny doing such an unladylike thing, so she just keeps silent and stares expectantly.

"Right." Petunia says decisively. All of the Evanses have that habit of stating that one word before getting down to anything and Haesel has noticed she's picked it up as well. She doesn't mind, because it makes her even more one of the family.

"I wanted to ask you something, if you do not mind, of course." Petunia always takes care to talk properly, because that's ladylike and she's a lady. Ivy just said she's read _Pride and Prejudice_ once too many, when asked. Haesel isn't too sure what that means, but she and Lily still laugh about it sometimes.

"I don't mind." Haesel says, never mind that she's got no idea what Petunia wants to ask in the first place.

"Ah, yes." the blond haired girl takes a moment to arrange her thoughts before proceeding. "I'm aware Lily has asked you if you would mind being her sister? I'm talking about an official adoption, as opposed to just being a ward of Mother and Father."

Haesel nods, just once. She and Lily haven't spoken of what she asked that day yet, although they've been talking long into the night about the other things that had happened.

"I have come to the understanding that this is not completely beyond what Mother and Father desire themselves."

Haesel stares at her. Petunia coughs delicately and blushes, obviously misunderstanding. "Naturally, I am not at all be opposed, so I took it upon myself to assure you of this."

"She doesn't understand a word of what you just said, Tuney." Lily unceremoniously drops herself beside the two others, a frown on her face. "For that matter, neither do I."

Now Petunia's the one gaping but she catches on to it soon enough to close her mouth before either Lily or Haesel can make a 'watch out for flies' comment or anything of the like.

"So.. You mean, she hasn't understood a thing?"

"Of course not! We're smart, Tuney, but no geniuses."

This is wrong, of course. From what Haesel has observed in the time she's known her family, she knows that Lily is extremely bright. She herself hasn't been to school yet on account of recovering from her injuries. She doesn't like to brag, but she's been able to keep up with what Ivy – who's an elementary school teacher – has been teaching her, and Ivy has told her they've gone so fast she's actually been teaching her way beyond what she's got to know to join Lily in school when summer ends.

Upon hearing this, Lily had demanded to be home schooled as well. Ivy had said they'd talk it over and while that had meant Ivy and Robert, not Ivy and Lily, Lily had taken to it as such and sometimes completely surprises her mum by starting on the subject yet again. Petunia, who was going to Middle School the next year, had taken to just watching and enjoying the show.

Haesel tunes in again in time to hear Lily assure Petunia that it would be indeed better to repeat her words, but this time not 'in words that belong with the Queen, not us.' so as to quote Lily directly.

A bit miffed, Petunia turns to face Haesel again, who's still laying on the ground peering up at her.

"You really didn't understand?"

Haesel shakes her head lightly, taking care not to dislodge the hand still on her forehead. The skin has warmed up by now, but it's very comforting.

Petunia sighs.

"I would like for you to be my sister as well. I know – I have overheard Mother and Father taking about it."

Haesel sits upright and turns to face her. Lily has looked up as well, taking her attention from the daisy chain she's making to observe her elder sister. This is new to them.

Petunia is quick to explain. "They were talking about how they were thinking about going to visit your parents' graves tomorrow. Mother brought it up; Father agreed and then he suggested they finished the adoption process."

"Finish?" Lily gasps. "That means they've already started it!"

Petunia nods. "They wouldn't need your agreement, Haesel because you're still a minor, but Mother said she wanted to ask you about it anyway. She mentioned how you fit in so well and then Father said he wouldn't mind making you an Evans by name as well as by heart."

Haesel's eyes are large and round. There's a lot of confusion stirring in her heart, but elation triumphs. Her Aunt and Uncle would really want her as one of their own? She would be able to call Lily and Petunia her sisters?

Lily plucks a daisy absentmindedly and makes a hole in the stem with her nail before tugging another through the hole she's just made. Judging by the way her eyes seem to measure the crown of Haesel's head she has already decided for who the daisy chain is going to be.

"I've got more news." Petunia shares and she bends closer as if this is a great secret, but before she can utter another word Ivy appears in the kitchen door and calls them all inside. The girls share glances, wondering what it would be about but having the idea they already know. They troop inside, Petunia first and Lily last, trying to pluck some more daisies so she can finish her chain. Haesel remembers the book she's left outside, but the serious look on Aunt Ivy's face makes her decide to leave it for later.

They sit in the living room. Petunia choses the arm chair Robert normally prefers. She's a daddy's girl to the core and whenever she can she reads his paper and sits in the chair, preferably both at the same time. Lily and Haesel chose the love seat closest to the telly. Robert is standing near the fake fireplace, and Ivy seats herself on the sofa. Ivy speaks up first.

"Girls, we have two .. issues we'd like to talk to you about. The first one is that your father" this with a look to Robert that has the girls giggling "has accepted another position in his firm."

"Yes." Robert takes over. "It's a pretty good promotion, actually – but we'd have to move."

"Oh, where to?" Lily is exited, Petunia and Haesel less so. Petunia is thinking of the friends she's made here and the new school they'd all be going to together. Haesel has an unexpected lump in her throat. This is the first home she's had that she can remember and she'll be sad to lose it.

"Cokeworth." Ivy says and it's clear by her expression that she's not nearly as exited as her husband and youngest daughter.

"..Isn't that a mining town?" Petunia says and Haesel doesn't know if she ought to be surprised Petunia knows this. Sometimes it seems to her that Petunia knows everything.

"Indeed it is, Tuney-bear!" Robert says and his passion makes up for what Petunia's voice lacks. Petunia's cheeks stain a soft pink, as they always do whenever her father calls her by the nickname from when she was a small child and loved nothing more than her teddy bear.

Ivy sends her husband another look and he calms down slightly, enough to cough in his hand and attempt to deliver whatever he was going to say next in a slightly more moderate tone.

"I'm aware it's not a town as large or with as great a reputation as where we live now, but this is a very good chance for me to rise in the cooperation. Your mother and I have already looked at houses and have found one in a very good neighbourhood that will fit all our needs."

Ivy takes over. "You two will still need to share a room" She smiles. "I don't think that will be a problem."

Lily and Haesel, knowing this is meant for them, nod empathically.

"When will we move, Mu – Mother?" Petunia asks, covering up her slip by coughing in her hand. Lily buries her snickers in Haesel's shoulder who bears it stoically. There's a glint in her eyes, though. Petunia glares at them both.

Ivy moves to answer her though and as she turns her attention away, Lily takes a moment to whisper to Haesel.

"I'm waiting for the moment she says 'my lady mother' or something."

Now it's Haesel who has to cover her giggles and she adds, grinning, "Most Honourable and Revered Mother-"

Lily buries her face in Haesel's shoulder again and keeps it there. Haesel can feel her shoulders shake as she attempts to keep her laughing unnoticed. Haesel herself is spotting a grin that almost makes her cheeks hurt.

Robert glances over at them. A light frown ceases his forehead and he takes a step into their direction.

"Is everything all right, Lily-pad?" he asks. Haesel shakes her head and bites her lip trying not to laugh out loud. Lily just raises a hand and makes a feeble gesture that is meant to make clear she's fine, just dying from laughter.

Robert looks like he doesn't understand, so Haesel takes it upon herself to explain. "That means she's fine, she's just dying from laughter?"

Lily nods in her shoulder. Her shaking has lessened somewhat which means she's calming down, but she still keeps her probably red face hidden.

"Dying from laughter?" They've caught Ivy's attention. "Why ever for?"

Petunia scowls. "I bet they're making fun of me. Again. Mother, tell them to stop!"

Although her words are cold, her voice isn't. It's hard to be mad at those two, sitting there on the love seat looking adorable. If it were only Lily, it wouldn't be that hard to keep up the pretence of being offended, but in the year she's known her Haesel has managed to sneak into Petunia's heart and make a little spot there her own. She's a sucker for the girl she essentially sees as her littlest sister, and she knows it, so she gentles out her expression.

Haesel is starting to get a little red in the face from the scrutiny. She elbows Lily gently and the red haired girl takes the hint, sitting up slowly and wiping the last tears from her eyes.

"It's nothing." she says. "Just a funny thought!"

Exchanging a fond look, Robert and Ivy go back to the matter at hand. "We're still finalising the plans, so soon as we have met with the real estate agent we will be able to tell you more. My boss would like me on the job as soon as possible though, so I might commute until then."

"I guess maybe before the summer ends, sometime in August?" Ivy says, looking thoughtful.

Petunia adopts a pondering look. "Then we'd be able to start school there from the beginning, good. I don't want to start halfway through or something!"

Ivy laughs. "Heaven forbids, darling."

Robert, in absence of his favourite chair, sits down on the sofa. From being amused, his expression turns rather grave and serious. The girls quieten.

"Now, there was another matter we needed to speak to you about. This specifically concerns you, Haesel."

This is it, Haesel thinks. She's not sure what to feel. Petunia's words earlier have warned her some and she's not as unprepared as she might've been. She still isn't too sure what to feel or say, though a part deep within her has an idea.

"I was thinking of visiting your parents' graves tomorrow." Ivy says. She pauses, affected by what she's thinking about.

Haesel speaks up just before the silence becomes too heavy. "I would like to go?" It's meant as a statement, but it comes out uncomfortably questioning. Ivy sends her a quick smile.

"That's not the issue, though." She seems to find it hard to organise her words. Robert grabs one of her hands, giving it a squeeze. He's leaving it to her, and while it seems maybe a bit cruel to Haesel she also understands why. Her mum was Ivy's younger twin sister, after all.

"As you are a minor, you are officially in our custody as our ward. There is however, the option to adopt you legally." Ivy has found her words. She speaks slowly, carefully. "This would hardly change anything, really – it gives us just a little more legal weight, it would allow you to change your last name if you would wish to do so.."

She takes a deep breath. "But mostly, it would make you wholly, truly, one of ours."

It's silent yet again. Haesel almost feels how everyone is staring at her. She dips her head down and worries at a loose thread on her dress.

"I know Petunia and Lily have been eager to call you their sister." Robert says, voice warm. He chuckles. "Especially Lily."

Lily grins at this. She's taken to leaning her shoulder against Haesel's in a silent show of support and Haesel takes the comfort it offers. She raises her eyes.

"Would that mean.. I mean.. you'd be my parents?" It's difficult to speak up, but she forces the sentence out of her mouth anyway.

Ivy's eyes well up. "Of course, darling!" She moves of the sofa and over to where Lily and Haesel sit, wrapping her arms tightly around the both of them. Lily makes a protesting sound, but Haesel gladly accepts it. Over Ivy's shoulder she sees both Robert and Petunia give her warm smiles and her eyes start to mist up a little. She sniffs.

Ivy moves back and wipes at her eyes, sitting back on her knees in from of them. "We wouldn't want to replace your parents, dear, of course not! I'll still tell you all about them and we'll go to visit each year or whenever you want. You won't have to change your name if you don't want to either -"

"I want to." Haesel says. "I just, all I've ever know, has been you and I'm so sorry because I didn't mean to forget but it's not coming back and I overheard that doctor say back at the hospital it might never and it's just been so lonely..."

She's crying then, she can feel the tears dripping from her chin.

"You're not alone! Never ever again. You've got me now." Lily declares and she wraps her arms around Haesel in the biggest hug she can manage. The sobs start coming even louder now. She's barely aware of being wrapped in more arms, but she hears all of their voices, saying things like "We're here, darling, we're here" and "You've got us now, we're not going anywhere."

Haesel finally lets go of the awful feeling that's been stuck in her chest for what feels like forever but has really only been since she woke up in the hospital, all alone.

It's warm, coming home.

Everything goes fast after that. The girls help their mother – Haesel can't help but smile a little every time she gets to think that – pack up the house. They've all gone and visited the graves of Haesel's birth parents and Haesel has been able to tell them she'll be okay now. It's been an oddly liberating thing to do and she feels better for it.

Lily has convinced Robert and Ivy that she can introduce Haesel as her twin. The fact that they share a birthday and the official adoption both make for serious arguments, and after asking Haesel if she's okay with it because it's almost paramount to lying, the only thing they did was shrug and say they don't mind. Lily is all over the moon that day (and the days after). Haesel doesn't mind. It hardly changes anything for her. She still has two elder sisters and a nice pair of parents. Petunia is also not opposed when questioned about the matter. She is happy enough that Haesel lets her baby her, something Lily is firmly against.

When the final documents come in, they hold a little party in the now empty living room, eating pizza on the floor. Ivy even introduces a cupcake she's bought at the bakers' with a candle in it.

They make it a ritual and do it every year.

True to word, the new house in Cokeworth is about the same size as their old one, if not a bit larger. Lily and Haesel petition to have the attic instead of the larger bedroom, saying Petunia can have that one and that they would love to have the attic to themselves. Robert and Ivy just do what they've already established as a rule when concerning the two – they shrug and smile.

Exited the girls plan their room. Lily wants hammocks, Haesel a bunk bed and in the end they compromise after spotting a truly giant bed in a second hand shop. It's got drapes and looks like it belongs in a castle rather than a normal home. They say they don't mind sharing and the bed becomes theirs.

In fact, they've become so close that Ivy isn't surprised that the word 'twins' is one she uses often. The only physical difference lies in their hair colour and the little height Lily has on Haesel, but the more she recovers from her extended stay in the hospital, the taller Ivy is sure she'll grow. More difference is found in their personalities.

Lily is outgoing, energetic, always optimistic. She's not afraid to speak up and draw attention to herself. Haesel in contrast in softer, more prone to silence and sometimes even brooding, but they're both sweet girls and Ivy thinks she couldn't be more proud than she is. Sometimes it hurts, thinking of her own twin sister and what she would have said, seeing them now.

Ivy thinks Ianthe would be proud, bump their shoulders like she always did and say "What a pair they make! They're just like us when we were young."

She smiles as she looks at the girls, busy dropping grass down Petunia's shirt and in her hair as she lies napping in the chair on the outside deck.

Summer's coming to an end. They've settled well into the house and the town. It helps that they live in the better part of it and that there's a park with swings two streets away. There's even a creek with wildflowers and a bit of forest not too far away.

Ivy has finally lifted the ban on going to the park alone and Lily and Haesel have wasted no time familiarising themselves with the neighbourhood. They've proclaimed the swings their place. Lily likes the middle swing. She says it makes the best creaks as she is flying. Haesel doesn't really cares. She just likes to drop almost horizontally and watch the sky.

"Say, Haaaaaesel?" Lily draws out her name, making a funny face to go with that.

Haesel laughs. "Don't do that! It's annoying."

Lily sticks out her tongue. Haesel crosses her eyes. They both start giggling at the same time. Haesel leans up and starts pushing the swing with her feet.

"What is it?" she asks after a bit.

"I want to do the trick again." Lily says, peering over at Haesel to closely watch her reaction.

"Isn't that dangerous? People could see." Haesel frowns, marking her words by taking a cursory look around.

"There's no one there, I already checked."

"We could fall again and Mum would forbid us to go to the park alone again and then we'd have to ask Tuney to go with us each time we wanted to go."

"We won't fall! Last time you overreacted. Come on, please?" Lily whines.

"I did not!" Haesel refutes, biting her lip and blushing.

"You totally did. But that's not the point! In or out?"

Haesel puffs up her cheeks and blows the air out in one go before giving in. "All right, fine. Just once!"

"Just once!" Lily laughs and they start swinging at the same time, going higher and higher. Just before they let go, they grab the others hand and fly a little too long, landing a little too softly.

It would have been fine... if not for the boy who's now standing beside a tree not far off and who has definitely seen what they've been doing.

**Thank you all for reviewing/favouring/following I appreciate it lots! I'm a bit on a roll here so I'm updating really fast, hah. Don't know how long it's going to last! **

**Special shout out to The Tardis Blue Impala, who's the first reviewer ever. Cheers ever so much! Consider this update in your honour ^^**

**Three guesses who that boy is? Two of those don't count :D**

**Thank you for reading!**


	3. Restlessly

Moving to put the cake she's been making in the oven, Ivy almost jumps a feet high in the air when she suddenly discovers Petunia and Haesel standing behind her. The latter is looking at the envelope the former is clutching tightly with faint interest, and Ivy almost laughs at her furrowed brows. It is Petunia's expression which really catches her interest, though. She's biting her lip – a nervous habit she has been trying to lose for years, shuffles her feet, eyes wide with disbelief and hope.

Ivy raises an eyebrow but waits to question her until she's done what she wants and the oven door is closed.

"Is there anything wrong?" she questions when Petunia stays silent. The blond girl merely hands her the envelope en Ivy has to keep back a gasp when she sees the seal on the back. It's from Cheltenham Ladies College, her own alma mater.

"Oh Petunia, does this mean..."

Petunia can't hold back a beaming smile of utter delight. "I got in! They said there was a problem with the mail, that's why the letter is so late or something like that, but I got in!"

Ivy moves to hug her eldest, also smiling widely.

"I'm so proud of you, darling! So very proud!"

Petunia laughs. She's still clutching the letter tight, as if it will disappear the moment she lets go of it.

"Oh we've got so much to do, so much to buy! We'll go for your uniform and everything tomorrow, there's not much time left. We'll go over what you'll need tonight. What House are you in, does it say? It's a lovely college, you'll have such a great time!"

Haesel stands at the kitchen door, feeling out of her depth as mother and daughter start an exited conversation that goes entirely over her head. She turns around to go upstairs, intending to look for Lily. She will surely know what that was all about.

Lily is laying on their shared bed, still in her pyjamas. Haesel goes and lays beside her. She doesn't say anything for a while and the silence is comforting, only disturbed when Lily turns a page in the novel she's reading – one Haesel recognises to be nicked from their Mum's collection.

"Say.." she starts. Lily looks up from her book, noting with interest the puzzled frown Haesel is wearing. She nudges it with a frown.

"Stop that, it's unbecoming. You'll get wrinkles before your time!"

Haesel merely furrows her brows an extra bit, the Petunia-impression not managing to make her amused. Lily abandons her book entirely and sits up. She now recognises Haesel's mood as the one she gets when she's doubting her place in the family, which, despite Lily's assurances, still happens fairly often.

Haesel searches for words.

"Petunia got this letter from some college or another. When she showed it to Mum, they were both terribly exited."

Lily nods. It's not entirely unexpected. Petunia had applied and gone through all the tests and the visits. When the letter hadn't arrived, all of them had thought she hadn't been accepted even though her application had been favourably received as far as lily had been aware. Of course most of this had happened when Haesel had been in the hospital still, so she wouldn't have known. No wonder she feels a little left out.

"Mum went there when she was young, too, and it's always gone sort of unsaid that we'd go there as well. Or, you know, try to get in. It's very fancy and very good, so it isn't very easy. When no letter came, we thought she'd not been accepted."

Lily pauses. Cheltenham is the reason Petunia's been trying to make herself be more ladylike, it's why she's worked really hard in school. She'd been quietly crushed when it seemed like her every effort had failed but had tried not to show it.

"I'm happy for her! It's really important for her, to get into Mum's school. They share so little, I mean, Petunia looks like Dad and has always been a Daddy's girl while Mum and I had lots in common." She nods, considering. "That's what I always thought, anyway."

Most of the confusion has cleared from Haesel's face. It's their ritual, to go get the post together. Petunia carries the letters and bills and Haesel the paper, and she likes it very much.

Sometime every little way to connect, to belong, is important to her.

Lily pokes her. Haesel shifts a little to peer up at her better.

"I'm not sure if you're supposed to try to get in there, actually."

Haesel starts. She's not?

"Do you know about the fostering thing?"

Haesel shakes her head. She knows the word but she hasn't a clue what Lily is on about.

"Well, there used to be this tradition in Mum's family to foster someone out for a bit, like a year or so. It was usually for boys, but then there were only two girls – Mum and Aunt Ianthe."

Lily barely waits for Haesel's nod to continue. "So they fostered Aunt Ianthe out for a year to a family is Scotland, when they were ten. Afterwards, Mum told me, Aunt Ianthe had gotten so attached to her family that she wanted to enter the same school as her host-sister, some Saint George something, I'm not too sure what it was called again."

"So you think Mum might like me to go there?" Haesel says thoughtfully. They both know she means both her Mums when she says that and Lily shrugs.

"Maybe."

They lapse in silence again and Lily contemplates returning to her book when a though strikes her. She turns on Haesel with wide eyes. She can read those identical green eyes better than she knows her owns and sees her fears reflected back to her.

"I won't let them!" Lily exclaims, wildly waving her hands. "We won't!"

Haesel nods solemnly. "We won't." she agrees.

Lily calms down. After a moment she lets out a small sigh.

"Well, I should try to find out all I can about that school, then – if I'm going to try to go with you."

She groans. "Not knowing the name for sure is embarrassing!"

Haesel giggles.

§

Her new school is all Petunia is concerned with the next few days and she can scarcely talk about anything else. Lily and Haesel let her, secure in their promise to try out for the same school when the time comes. They've become so attacked to each other the idea of separation for years is one that is impossible to stomach. They've not said anything to their parents. Lily wanted to, but Haesel said not to. This time is for Petunia, she said, and we'll not ruin it for her! Petunia deserves the attention, the happiness. She's bright, extremely so, but she doesn't hold a candle to the sheer genius of Lily and if Haesel is honest, herself. It's the second reason she thinks of going to a different school, so Petunia can hold on that glory even when Lily and Haesel outstrip her.. because they're undeniable _special_.

Haesel is reminded ever so often of that day in the park, when they did those ..tricks and that boy saw them. He tried to talk to them, yelled something about witches to which Lily had said "How rude!" and pulled Haesel away.

They've not been to the park since, keeping to the backyard and the swing they've managed to talk Robert into. They're trying to talk him into a pool as well, but haven't had much luck so far.

They've talked about the tricks enough times though. Haesel has even been able to admit to Lily about the dreams, and the strange things she sees in them. Lily nods, thinking deeply before proclaiming them both to be 'magic'.

Haesel falls of the bed laughing, but Lily only stares at her seriously.

The evening of the day Ivy takes Petunia for her school uniform and other school things, she takes Haesel aside for a moment. With a sad smile she hands her a battered dark green case.

"Open it." Ivy says. There's something in her eyes that Haesel finds hard to name.

She undoes the clasps one by one, until the case is open and she's presented with a beautiful, gleaming violin. Haesel looks up to her Mum, wonder in her eyes. She suddenly yearns to play this instrument, although she's sure she doesn't know how.

"I'm sure you don't remember but.. you've been playing since you were five." Ivy smiles. "Though that might not have been the same instrument, maybe a smaller size." Her hand touches one of the burnt spots that litter the case. "It was in the car with you. I've been told that you tried to protect it with your own body."

Someone gasps and Haesel looks up to see Lily stand in the doorway to the kitchen from where Robert and Petunia's voices still come.

She feel the burns on her back and shoulder itch.

"Go on, try it!" Ivy encourages.

Haesel lays down the case on the sofa and frees the violin and bow from their secure confinement. She tightens the bow, lifts the violin to her shoulder in a thoughtless gesture. She touches the bow to the strings.

It's like coming home all over again as Haesel traces the notes of a song she didn't know she even knew. When she opens her eyes again – when did she close them? – the whole family is standing there. Lily is near tears and is clapping enthusiastically when she finishes. Haesel grins.

She can't mean her 'thank you' to Ivy enough.

**Hi! I'm sorry to have taken so long – and then have the balls to appear with such a short chapter. I've got my reasons, though! It's exam time in two weeks so yep, have to study! And I want to do a time skip but felt I needed to include just a little more before I did.**

**Hope you liked it!**


	4. I moved forward

"I wish things were back to their normal way again."

Haesel wrinkles her nose. "Me too."

Lily slides a wee bit lower down the sofa. Any minute now she'll be laying on the ground, but it doesn't look like she'll mind. Or, maybe, Haesel thinks, notice at all.

It's the 4th of January 1971. The twins are less than a mere month from being eleven. Haesel thinks she's supposed to be really exited about it, but she can't feel it. She fiddles with her jumper, a Christmas present from Petunia.. in days when everything was still great, she can't help but remark to herself. It's five in the afternoon, time for tea, but the kitchen is occupied with arguing parents and a Petunia in the middle of a hissy fit.

Lily sighs and slides even lower.

"D'you reckon they'd notice if we snuck out and went to the park?" She says.

Haesel raises an eyebrow, a move she's spend all summer practising. When Lily saw her employ it to a girl at school once and noticed it's effectiveness, she convinced Haesel to teach it to her as well. They can do it synchronised now – they try their best to be practically identical and to be honest, it doesn't take much effort. Most of the time they finish each other's thoughts anyway and Lily can't imagine a time without Haesel anymore, if there ever was such a thing.

That Haesel hasn't know anything else goes unmentioned.

Now on the floor with her hair spread in tangles on the sofa Lily grins up at her. "Come on, you know they wouldn't."

Haesel makes a show of thinking it over but she's already in. That's their dynamic, mostly. Lily is the outgoing, friendly one that makes the plans and Haesel is the more quiet, sometimes distant and sarcastic one that makes sure nothing can go wrong. They're the perfect team. She returns the grin.

"You sure you want the park, though?"

Lily frowns briefly. "I'm sure it'll be empty by now, won't it?"

Haesel nods. They don't like to go to the park as a rule. Ever since they moved there and demonstrated their talents one summer afternoon they've had the feeling of being watched whenever they were in the park. They suspect it's the boy they saw the first time around.

Lily thinks it's sad and really weird. Haesel agrees and adds it's also a little creepy. When she said that, self-consciously rubbing the thin scar on her left arm, Lily went quiet and never mentioned the park again if she could help it. Instead, she convinced their parents to get her a piano teacher so she could do duets with Haesel's violin. All the staying inside practicing has gotten them really good. They've even won school awards they keep in their bedroom.

Haesel eyes the piano in the corner for a moment, then abandons the idea immediately again. She really wants to get out of the house.

Silently she stands and glances into the kitchen. The situation hasn't changed. Robert is trying to talk to Petunia now, Ivy is stacking plates on the counter without any real purpose seeing as they're those used during lunch and are already cleaned.

Lily is already at the door to the hallway and Haesel shakes her head when she sees the hopeful glint Lily can't completely hide. Lily shrugs and eases open the door.

Pulling on their winter coats, scarfs, hats and mittens, completing the look with snow boots, the girls are overcome with excitement and their shared glances and grins turn into full blown laughter when Haesel pulls the front door closed with a soft thud.

There's been a lot of snow this Winter Holiday and already the front yard is decorated with a family of snowmen. Lily pats one of them proudly on the shoulder in passing.

"Let's not stay out too long." she says. Haesel blows, the cold air making her breath freeze into a little steam cloud.

"Why, you cold?" she asks before blowing out again. She likes making clouds.

Lily shakes her head. "No, but it's already dark out, and even though I really wanted out just now" – "Me too," Haesel agrees – "I'm not very fond of making Mum and Dad worry too much."

"Good point." She sticks her hands in her pockets and encounters unexpected cripsness. Smiling she pulls out a five pound note, left over from maybe Christmas shopping.

"Look, Lils! We could maybe visit the corner store or something for sweets!"

When they ease back into the house almost an hour later, still sucking on the sweets Haesel's note has bought them, it's to the sight of Petunia standing in the doorway to the living room with her hands on her hips.

The twins exchange glances. Can we make it to our room? Lily's eyes ask. No, Haesel's replies, too much clothes on and she's closer – she'd catch us for sure.

United in their sense of doom, the girls turn to their elder sister, who's now crossing her arms over her chest. When she doesn't say anything, they start removing their clothes, shedding boots, scarves and mittens one by one. The loose coins in Haesel's pockets jingle when she hangs up her coat.

Petunia points them to the living room, which is surprisingly empty.

"Mum and Dad have gone out to the shop." she says upon noticing their looks and her voice is not as fierce as her expression had them imagine. Petunia is sharp, and this doesn't escape her notice as little does, especially not concerning her little sisters.

She wonders when they grew so distant that she had no idea they didn't share her ideas for the future.

Maybe they thought they couldn't talk to you about it, she thinks, and it hurts to see them settling on the love seat again, pressing close together unconsciously. She's gone most of the year except the holidays, and even then she usually forgoes going home with Easter to study for exams. They send letters, sure, but it's not the same, never the same because she can't read their faces anymore the way she used to be able to do.

Even now, they think her hostile and she reflect she hasn't given them a reason not to. She sighs. This has to be fixed, and Mum was right. She glances at the clock. She's got half an hour to set this right.

"Lily, Haesel, isn't there something you ought to tell me?" She asks, taking great care to keep her voice soft and even.

A look, a hesitant shake before Haesel elbows Lily and that has to hurt because Haesel has always been thin and her elbows look sharp.

Haesel looks up with fierce green eyes. "It was my idea."

Lily wants to intervene, crying out with something along the lines of "No it was mine!" but Haesel silences her with a sharp look.

"When you got accepted into Cheltenham's, Lily told me about the fostering."

Petunia breathes in sharply. So Mum had been right, when she said that maybe Haesel just wanted to forge more links to her past and since when had Lily done anything else but follow her whenever she went?

Haesel nods. Petunia notices how they clasp hands, presenting a united front.

There's nothing more she can say now. She's defeated even before the game really started and it's a bitter pill to swallow, that she can never show the school she loves so much to her little sisters.

"I just.. I'd just hoped.." She whispers and the broken tone makes her cringe inside. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Wasn't she the one telling her friends and House mates that she'd be joined by her sisters before next year was gone? Now the new year had started and by all means, they would never.

Haesel and Lily surge forward as one. True, ever since Petunia had gone off to her college contact had been scarce and even during the holidays she'd go off with friends but she was still their sister and the one that made them hot milk before they went to bed after playing in the snow too long. She still was the one they bought charms for the bracelet they'd given her Haesel's first Christmas whenever they were in London.

"You're still our big sister, you know." Haesel says and there's an echo to her words that surprises her; but it's only Lily. They manage to speak together, sometimes, in times of great emotion, and that they did so now means almost as much to Petunia as the hug they've sandwiched her in.

She winds her arms around them. "Thank you." She whispers.

That evening they're finally able to talk about it like a family should, and Petunia leaves for her boarding school with a light heart. The letters she receives are a lot more honest as well, she feels, until that letter that, when looked upon later, changed everything.

"They were accepted where?"

§

The letter that comes for them their eleventh birthday is one that is not as unexpected to the twins as they would have their parents believe.

The morning has started out normal, so far. Lily woke Haesel up at the crack of down because she was so exited and for once, Haesel shares that sentiment completely. She's not sure just what it is about turning eleven that is so absolutely wonderful, but it just is and they wake their parents by jumping up and down on the bed, something they haven't done in years because it is so very childish but right now, Haesel doesn't care because she's turning eleven!

Robert relents and goes down to start on some pancakes while Ivy attempts to wrestle her squirming daughters into submission. It's not working, despite the fact that she knows all their ticklish points because they're two of them and she tries to argue that's not fair when they hear something heavy fall down with a resounding crash downstairs.

They're all up in a moment racing out of the bedroom, Ivy not even pausing to pull on a bathrobe over her pyjamas.

"Dad, what's wrong!" intermingles with "Robert! Is everything is all right?" and "Please don't die Daddy I'm coming to rescue you!" as they stumble into the kitchen.

Robert looks at them strangely, especially Lily, who's been the one to utter the last sentiment.

"What's wrong with you three?"

Ivy attempts to correct herself, straightening her shirt and pulling on the slipper she almost lost down the stairs. "We heard a strange noise and a pretty loud crash!"

"We thought you were being robbed! Or maybe held at gunpoint after a valiant fight with a masked attacker.." Lily trails off as she looks around the kitchen and sees nothing out of the ordinary, except maybe the own sitting on the window legde bearing letter.

"Ah!" she jumps back, colliding with Haesel who clutches her foot as she jumps up and down.

"Well, I had the same reaction.. except I was holding the frying pan." Robert chuckles as he gives the aforementioned item a little tap where it's on the furnace again.

"Ehm, Dad, why is there an owl in our kitchen?" Lily ventures hesitantly. Ivy nods as she guides Haesel to a chair, who waves off an offer to look at her foot with "It's all right now Mum, she didn't step on it too hard." to which Lily immediately forgets all about the own and starts trying to have Haesel accept her apologies.

"Yes, dear, what is with the owl?" Ivy asks as she dips a finger into the batter to try it. Robert waves her hand away as he shrugs.

"I have no idea; suddenly it was there and it wanted in."

"Why has it got letters? I thought the only birds that carried mail were pigeons. And maybe hawks as well? No wait, I'm wrong, they were used to hunt the pigeons." Haesel has picked up Lily's habit of going off on tangents, although she only has it when she's feeling out of her depth.

Lily halts her nervous fluttering around Haesel to attempt to approach the owl still patiently sitting on the window sill.

Robert absentmindedly pours batter into the pan and twists it around until it's sure to become a lovely pancake. They are all looking at Lily, who is now petting the owl softly before untying the piece of string that keeps the letters to it's leg.

When the letters are loose, the owl affectionately nips at Lily's fingers and leaves through the still open window. Keeping her fingers curled carefully in the event the owl decides to return to nip them again Lily closes the window.

Ivy has become impatient. "Well, what do they say?"

"They're addressed to us." Lily says and she motions with one letter to Haesel. Haesel accepts it and takes a moment to admire the green ink and fancy writing that speak of her name.

_Miss H. Evans_

_The Attic_

_Green Road 6_

_Cokeworth CW5 6AL_

Lily settles beside her on her customary chair and Haesel can see that hers is almost the same, except that it's addressed to _Miss L. Evans_ instead.

"Why do they know we have the attic?" Lily frowns but she can't keep the expression for even a moment, she's much to exited.

"Why are you asking me?" Haesel says and with matching smiles they turn the envelopes and tear them open. Identical letters fall into their hands.

"Dear Miss Evans," Haesel starts to read aloud, skipping the part with what seems like someone's titles. "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at … Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? What the bloody hell is this?"

"Haesel!" Ivy scolds shocked, unaware Haesel even knew curses. Then what she said before it catches up to her and she looks wide eyed to her husband who almost lets his current pancake burn.

Lily looks up as well. "It's all..." She doesn't appear to have words for what she wants to say, turning to Haesel. "D'you think it's a joke?"

"I have no idea. What do you think, Mum, Dad?"

"Let me have a look." Robert says and he hands the pan to his wife before he makes any accident happen. He carefully overlooks the letter Haesel hands him, getting a feel of the paper before concluding it's actually parchment instead. Ivy looks up from setting the plates at that, and Lily starts sniffing her copy in case she can smell the dead animal she remembers parchment being made of.

"Whoever send this, was about as honest as a man proclaiming to be a 'chief warlock' can be." Robert says finally as they all sit down to eat, the letters put aside for the moment although they are not far from mind. "Or a Deputy Headmistress of a school with such a, might I say it, ridiculous name."

The twins giggle and even Ivy can't smother a smile.

"A shame the owl went away, then." Lily remarks. "We could've send a note with it asking for more information, because 'Hogwarts, Scotland' doesn't cover it!"

"I'll send a note tomorrow, then. Today is for celebration, though! What did you girls want to do again?"

"The zoo, Dad." they both groan in unison because haven't they repeated this a million times before?

"You're lucky this is a Saturday. It wouldn't have been possible at all on a school day, I do hope you know that." Robert winks. They know he's riling them up, but they still go along with it and the letters are momentarily forgotten.

Until the doorbell rings.

Haesel and Lily are the only ones that are actually clothed and not still in their pyjamas, even though Robert is wearing a bathrobe, so they stand up and go to answer. Ivy calls after them to tell the milkman, if that's him, that she wants only three bottles this week and not four.

It's not the milkman. It's a lady wearing a stern expression, a dark green two piece suit with a long skirt and a long coat over it. Her greying hair is pulled back into a severe bun and she's holding some rolled up documents.

"Good morning." She says and it seems to Lily that her voice is only slightly warmed than her appearance. Haesel isn't daunted.

"Good morning!" She says cheerfully. "I'm afraid we were not expecting visitors and are in face still at breakfast, ma'am."

"Ah." the lady smiles and suddenly she's much nicer looking, all in all. Lily nods respectfully at her and then scampers back into the kitchen to warn her parents.

"Would you like to come in?" Haesel offers and the lady accepts with a single purposeful nod. Haesel leads her to the living room, aware of the fact that her parents have hurried upstairs to put on some clothes.

When the guest is seated, Haesel has a panicky moment of no idea what to do next but Lily saves her, coming in with a pot of tea, some cups and a few biscuits that she quite obviously just put together. She offers them to their visitor, who accepts a cup of tea "l– no sugar or milk, thank you."

They sit in silence for a bit, until Ivy and Robert come down, wearing normal day clothes. Ivy apologises for their delay and the lady says she was unaware it was quite this early.

"Ah, yes," Ivy laughs. "We're celebrating their eleventh birthday today, so we're a bit behind schedule, as well."

The lady smiles again and it does help to lighten her overall countenance. "Indeed, that is why I came." She sets down her cup of tea delicately and nods to the girls sharing the love seat as they're wont to do.

"I have been remiss in introducing myself. My name is Professor Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts and Head of House of Gryffindor."

Rapid glances are thrown around the room and Lily can't contain her enthusiasm. "So the letters were true! We thought they might be a joke."

"A common belief in families of Muggleborn witches or wizards." Professor McGonagall says indulgently. "Allow me to explain."

What follows after those words is a tale of magic, of a castle with high towers and deep dungeons and wonderful acts of wizardry enough to fill countless tales. The twins and their parents are entranced and it's almost two hours of questions, demonstrations and extra information before the Professor takes her leave. She gifts them with leaflets and tells them the way to contact the wizarding world by just sending any post through the normal network where it would be picked up.

She says goodbye with the hopes of seeing Lily and Haesel at Hogwarts; mentioned they seem like two bright little girls that have much to offer and learn.

They don't go to the zoo, in the end, but they're not too disappointed about it when they're whispering in the dark that night.

"I think I'd like to go." Lily says and she searches for Haesel's hand under the blanket. Their eyes find each other despite the darkness.

"Me too." Haesel says. "It does explain, doesn't it! The things we can do, it's magic!"

"And that.. what that boy said, remember? He mentioned witches, that we were witches! He must have known."

Haesel is unsure about seeking him out and Lily promises to keep her distance for a little bit. Eventually, Haesel is won over anyway and they agree to go to the park the next day to see if they can find him, to hear him out.

When they fall asleep, it's with tightly clutched hands and matching smiles.

**Hi!**

**I know it's fast! I just got the itch to write again, when I was past the part that was bothering me (before the time-skip, hah). So now, even though they've known of him, they'll get to know the boy that spies on them – as many have correctly guessed, it's Severus Snape! But the closer they get to Hogwarts, the more people they meet... **

**Hope you liked it! Don't expect the next update to be tomorrow, hah, cause then I'm sitting down to study again. I was just lonely, celebrating Christmas alone (even though I don't care for the event itself, I'd hoped to spend it with family but they seem to have forgotten about me, heh) so there I went, did something with it! ;)**

**See you, have a lovely New Year!**


	5. But in time

Haesel wonders if she ought to be sad that they're not going to Grandma's or exited that they're going to visit the Wizarding Alley so soon. She likes going to Grandma's, even though that's really weird because Grandma is already dead and buried and they just visit her grave, clean it up a little, leave flowers.

She's never known Grandma, either, but she's family and her grave is quite a way so they usually make it into a day trip visiting the place Mum grew up. Those little family things are hugely important to Haesel, because sometimes that's all she has.

Lily has no such things holding her back and is almost vibrating in her seat in sheer excitement. They are at breakfast. It's nine o'clock on the last Saturday of February and if she had lived, Grandma's birthday would've been the next week.

Hence the visit to her grave.

"Ah, Petunia will be so disappointed she's missed it!" Lily exclaims and waves with her fork to add credit to her point. Haesel ducks the bits of egg that fly off and giggles at Ivy's sigh of "Yet another thing to clean up later."

She glances at Dad. He's frowning and it doesn't take a brilliant mind to figure out that Lily's remark is the cause of it.

Haesel glances back to her plate and shoves her toast with egg around with her knife. Petunia has taken the news as well as could be expected, which is not at all. Lily and Haesel had written her a letter immediately after the Professor had left and ran out to meet the mailman before he took the last batch that Saturday.

In their hurry they had put on maybe a little too many stamps and so Petunia had called not two days later demanding what the letter was all about. She'd been hard to convince through the phone and it actually took a weekend trip to her school to show her the letters before she'd grudgingly admitted it wasn't a hoax. She'd still been very wary of it all, though, insisting that the twins tried to get into the boarding school they had been thinking of before just in case.

Ivy pokes her husband in the side. "Stop frowning. You'll scare the girls!"

Robert snorts. Across the table, Haesel and Lily are fighting of smiles. "I could never manage to scare those two little devils!" he says and then winks to soften the barb.

Lily gives him thumbs up and Haesel mouths "Keep trying!" at him. Their grins are infectious and soon they're all laughing.

"Anyway!" He says, aware that they'll never grow serious or will get on with the day if this goes on much longer. Laughing, Lily has once declared, is one of her favourite hobbies and she plans to spend much of her life doing it. Robert heartily approves of this outlook on life – but it isn't a very good thing when you're on a schedule.

"Petunia brought on some valuable concerns. We know almost nothing about this new 'Wizarding World' and it strikes me as not very smart to let you two just get on that train in September entirely unprepared."

Ivy nods. "We planned this outing as a way to get you both acquainted with the customs and practices of this world before letting you go." Her eyes are a little misty and Lily and Haesel share a single glance that just speaks 'Mum!'.

"What?!" Ivy says and for a moment the twins think she's talking to them but then they see she's only responding to Robert's eye-rolling. "They're the youngest two, my little babies!"

Lily drops her head on the table with a groan. Haesel stuffs her fist in her mouth to muffle her laughter. Robert looks as if he wants to follow Lily's example, but swallows and bravely changes the subject without looking at his wife.

This makes it even harder for Haesel to stop laughing.

"We're leaving at nine. Dress warmly!" with this said, he gives a nod and quickly leaves the table to flee to the study. Lily lifts her head to see him go and then considers her almost pouting mother, her laughing little sister and lets her head drop on the table again.

"You're all insane!"

"Au contraire, my dear!" Haesel manages a posh French accent through her laughter. "We're all a little mad here!"

"The Cheshire Cat, great." comes the muffled reply. "Let mum be the Mad Hatter, please!"

Ivy starts stacking the empty plates. "In that case, you are the dormouse."

Lily mumbles something intelligibly. Haesel just laughs.

§

Haesel considers the green dress she's laid on the bed for a moment. She had been planning to put it to visit Grandma, as it is one of her best. It's almost the colour of her eyes, which seem even brighter when she puts it on. She's already wearing black tights and will put on her winter boots when she's downstairs, but she's not sure a visit to the Wizarding Alley, special as it may be, warrants one of her best dresses.

Lily pokes her. "Just put it on, I'm wearing mine as well, see?"

She is, indeed. They like to dress the same. Sometimes the only difference in their wardrobes is in colour. Haesel likes green and a red colour Mum calls scarlet. She's attached to it for reasons she has no idea of.

Lily likes purple – when it doesn't clash with her hair – and blue, but that's as far as it dress they've both got in green and Lily brushes her hair as Haesel puts it on.

They both bounce down the stairs at exactly nine o'clock. Ivy helps Haesel to button on her white coat properly, even though she's perfectly capable to do it herself. There's a sort of nervous excitement in the air and Ivy tugs at the hats and scarves of the girls until she deems them properly enough.

Eventually, Lily grows tired of the hanging around and decides they need to leave right then and there.

So they do.

The drive to London feels like an eternity and even though breakfast was but three or so hours ago the girls are ready to eat again when Robert parks the car somewhere in the vicinity of where he thinks the pub they need is, based on what the Professor has told them.

"We're looking for a pub called 'the Leaky Cauldron'," he says when the car is locked and they're ready to go.

"A pub, lovely! D'you reckon we'd be able to have some food there?" Lily says. The gleam in her eyes is not only hunger.

"It's a pub, it's bound to have some." Haesel falls in. Their parents share a look before Ivy nods.

"Why not. Maybe they'll have different food or something?" Robert proposes.

Ivy has a look on her face that suggests she's not entirely sure it's a good idea anymore, but she doesn't mention it.

"Hold hands, girls!" she says instead and Haesel and Lily hold up their already clasped hands. "...with us, darlings. Don't want to lose you, now, would we?"

Haesel grabs Robert and Lily takes Ivy's hand and they pull their parents a bit up the street where Lily has noticed a sign with a cauldron on it.

It doesn't look very inviting, and the girls leave it to Robert to open the door and step inside. Ivy claims caution and enters last.

The inside is a pleasant surprise. It's warm and comfortable with worn chairs and wooden tables. A staircase leads up to a walkway with doors. There are many people, some dressed normal but more dressed oddly in robes like Professor McGonagall or some fashion that seems very strange indeed to the eyes of the Evans family. For a moment they don't know what to do. Haesel's eye falls on a man behind the bar cleaning glasses. She doesn't think he's very old, but he's already bald.

She releases her Dad's hand and walks up to the bar, pulling Lily with her. Ivy, still grasping tightly on Lily's hand, files after them. A moment's hesitation sees Robert following.

"Excuse me, sir?" Haesel pipes up. The bald man turns but doesn't see her at first; she's still a little smaller than the counter so he has to set the glass aside to bend down a bit.

"Yes, what can I do for you, little lady?" He cheerfully asks and Haesel can't withhold a blush.

"We're, ehm, new here?" Lily cuts in. Haesel nods empathically.

"They just turned eleven," Robert adds, "And we wanted to come have a look already, make sure they're as prepared as possibly can."

The man nods slowly, comprehension dawning on his expressive face. "Ah, muggleborn, eh?"

"Yes?" Lily says. She can vaguely remember that word from their birthday.

"That's actually a good idea, comin' in early – most wait for August, you see, and then it's real busy with all the new students and such. My name's Tom; I'm the owner of the Leaky!"

"My name is Robert Evans, this is my wife Ivy and my daughters Lily and Haesel." Robert concludes the introductions and Ivy gives a little wave when her name is mentioned but stays silent, forgoing talking for observing. "It's nice to meet you."

"You as well." Tom says and he smiles down to the girls. "Best to go to the bank first, me thinks. I'll show you the way in!"

He walks from behind the counter and motions them to follow him. They go through the pub to a door in the back, which opens to a little courtyard which seemed to be only used to put the trash out and house some empty barrels. Tom approaches the back wall and then pulls out his wand to tap in a counter clockwise motion across the bricks.

The whole family watches in awe as the wall shifts and _moves_ until it's an archway leading on to a cobble stone street with leaning buildings. It's reasonably busy, with more people in robes travelling between the shops minding their own business.

"There ya go!" Tom says cheerfully, smiling at the looks on their faces. "Just go down the Alley to the white marble building there, that's Gringotts Bank. It's run by Goblins, they can change your money into Galleons and possibly help you along. Depends on their moods, really!" His short laugh isn't very assuring.

"Anyways, you might want to try Flourish and Blotts, the bookshop over there, for more information. They might have some guides or something."

With a smile and a wave he leaves them standing there. Haesel barely manages a thank you before he closes the door to attend to the bar again.

"Well, nothing to it, then." Robert says and steps forward. When they leave the courtyard the walls assembles again behind them and Haesel vaguely wonders how they'll get out again when a woman walks past them. As she nears the wall, the bricks open up once more and the woman passes through them quickly. Haesel is reassured.

Diagon Alley, not the Wizarding Alley as they'd thought, is simply wonderful. Stalls are set out in front of shops selling an assortment of odd things. People weave their way between them, often stopping to talk to others they know or going into shops. Haesel doesn't see many wearing normal clothes. She can't help but think the robes must be enchanted, because they look a bit draughty and cold. She shares this observation with Lily and they giggle quietly.

They let go of each other's hands, overcome with excitement once more. Lily darts forward to reach her father's side and starts pointing out shops she wants to visit. Ivy is quick to try to temper her enthusiasm, though she's obviously interested as well.

Haesel hangs back unconsciously, her feet slowing down as she attempts to take it in all at once.

It doesn't take long before she's separated from her family.

She only notices she's alone when she sees a stall with wee pies on them and she wants to point it out to Lily, hoping to be able to return when they've got wizarding money to buy some. She freezes.

The panic is instant and overwhelming. For a moment she's not able to think, faintly hearing her Mum say not half an hour before 'wouldn't want to lose you' above the pounding silence in her ears.

Then she darts into motion, trying to get forward as soon as possible because they can't have gotten far, can they? Soon she is at the end of the Alley and before her marble columns and steps rise up, but Lily or Mum or Dad are not on them.

She's a breath away from crying when the boy slams into her.

Haesel can only identify black curls and startling grey – almost silver – eyes before the boy curses, pulls her up and into a little side street between two shops. He shoves her behind him and frantically checks the Alley, wincing when a equally black haired woman in fancy robes storms past. The woman doesn't notice them and continues on, screaming "Wait until I get to you, insolent child!" at the top of her lungs.

Haesel can't help but notice that her robes are pink and she's leaving a trail of bubbles behind her. She snorts.

Hearing the sound, the boy turns again. Haesel wants to pinch herself for noticing the way his eyes light up at seeing her laugh, the way his face has a decidely noble look to it with sharp but strong features. She just knows this boy will grow to be a rather handsome man, and if she's being entirely honest, he's already fairly handsome.

She backtracks. She did not think that! Mooning over boys was what Petunia did, not Lily or she!

Lily! Abruptly she remembers that she's lost and the panic strikes again. She attempts to pass the boy to run back into the Alley proper, but he holds her back.

"Wait!" he says. The way he speaks sounds rather .. cultured, a far corner of her mind notes. It reminds her of the Jane Austin films her Mum likes so much.

She has the idea this boy has never seen _Pride and Prejudice_, though.

"You can't go just yet, my mother is still raging out there." He stifles a laugh. "I always thought she was a dragon."

Haesel feels a reluctant smile pulling at her lips and she's glad to find she's calming a little. Panicking isn't going to help, she knows that, yet she did anyway! It's careless of her. What if she passed Mum and Dad and Lily in the Alley, maybe when they turned back when they noticed she was missing? She's stupid to react like that!

The boy lets go of her and holds out a hand. "My name is Sirius Black. Sorry for mowing you over. I was not really looking where I was going."

She moves to shake is hand, the smile now fully formed. "Haesel Evans. It's okay, though." She wants to release his hand to brush down her coat, but he holds on. She imagines she can feel the warmth of his hand through her gloves and feels her cheeks warm.

Sirius grins at her. He likes her already. This Haesel is an interesting girl. Most girls aren't, except for Cousin Andy, of course. Bella is vicious and Cissy is too young to appreciate a good prank, ignoring the fact she's only two years younger than him.

But Haesel, with her green eyes and red cheeks – who get more red the longer he holds on to her hand which makes him want to never let it go, just to see how long she's going to let him, of course – looks him in the eye and asks what he's done.

His grin widens. They're definitely going to be friends, they are!

"Stole her wand and then charmed her robes a shade of pink so horrifying even Cissy wouldn't want to be seen in it." he answers proudly.

She raises an eyebrow. It looks really classy, but not really intimidating. Just rather, dare he say it, cute.

Urg. Give him a moment and he will start going on about unicorns and rainbows and other fluffy things. He's got to distract her.. distract himself.

Sirius glances around the Alley again. His mother doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. He hopes this'll be the last drop and she'll never want to take him to the Alley ever again. She'll probably ask Uncle Alphard to take him instead, and Uncle Alphard will take him to Gambol and Japes' for prank items.

"Come." he says and he transfers her hand to his other one to better pull her along. "I'll treat you. What do you like?"

"Ehm, pies?" Haesel says and she seems a little overwhelmed as he drags her to the nearest stall – the one she'd been admiring when she lost her family.

Sirius orders two mince pies and finally lets go of her hand to pay. He hands one to her and Haesel bites into it gratefully. It's warm and filling and tastes great.

"Thanks." she says, swallowing her first bite and going for her second.

"You're welcome." Sirius grins. She wonders if that is his default expression.

"Hey, how old are you?" he suddenly asks and she's a bit startled by the intense look she's suddenly levelled with.

"Eleven." she answers. She can't help but pull her brow in a silent question, even though the move had no effect last time.

Little does she know Sirius can't help the sudden _cute_ that steals across his thoughts before he can stop it. "Me too." he says instead. "Going to Hogwarts in September?"

She nods. "That's why we're here, to get some more information."

Now he finally looks beyond her green eyes and wild black hair to see the quite obvious Muggle clothing she wears.

"You're a Muggleborn?"

It isn't a question as much as a statement but she answers with a 'yes' anyway. "Is that a problem? People keep mentioning it."

He tilts his head a little, a stray black curl falling in front of his eyes. He sweeps it away with a practiced, elegant movement. "Not really. To some it is. Some of the Pureblood families, the oldest ones, think you only matter when your blood is as pure as possible."

"And mine isn't." She gives him a look that dares him to say anything to the contrary. He can't help but grin again. She's amusing. He might say Gryffindor, with fire like that.

"My mother would say so, yes."

"Are you one of them, then? Those Pureblood families?"

He nods solemnly. "The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black, yea."

She can't help a little snort.

"I don't believe in their talk, though. They're all nuts, the lot of them. Except Cousin Andy and Uncle Alphard, but the rest of the family isn't worth meeting." That includes his own wee brother Regulus, he can't help but add bitterly in his own mind.

Haesel gives him a look that says she's sorry for all of it. It shouldn't make him feel a little better, but it does.

"So are you the only witch in the family?" he asks, wanting to change the subject. She allows him to.

"No, my sister Lily is one as well. We're twins." She smiles happily saying that and it's clear she loves her sister very much. "I've got an older sister as well, actually, Lily is older also, I'm the youngest, but she's not a witch."

Her smile is still fond. He thinks of how in his family, squibs are banned. He tries to shrug it off.

"Do you know which House you want yet?"

She shrugs, twisting her hands. "I sort of hope for Gryffindor? Or maybe Ravenclaw. I like knowledge, but I don't know if I'm very brave."

"You're talking to me, a complete stranger, so I'm sure you are." he winks a little. She blushes again. "I'll probably go into Slytherin, like the rest of the family." He doesn't sound excited by the prospect.

"You're talking to me too.. isn't that brave as well?" Her smile is impish. He likes the implication of her words.

They stand in silence for a bit, finishing their pies. Then her eyes widen comically and she's off suddenly in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron.

"Bye!" she yells back at him. "Write me!"

He can only stare as she disappears into the throng of shoppers. He's not sure the owl he got for his eleventh birthday can find a probably Muggle home, but he's certainly going to try.

Sirius Black stuff his hands into his pockets and grins.

§

Haesel suddenly thinks of the next step they were going to take after going to the bank – the book shop they passed earlier, the one Tom had pointed out. She's off before she can think of it and only remembers to wave and yell 'bye' as she goes. She's adding 'Write me!' to it before she knows why and later on face-palms for it because she hasn't given him her address and would he even want to write?

But at that moment she's focused on finding the book shop. She's in sight of it when she hears her name being called and there they are, Mum with worried eyes and Dad who only lets go of Lily's hand when she almost pulls him off his feet running toward Haesel.

Haesel is caught in an impromptu group hug she relishes in. Ivy draws back first.

"Where have you been?! We went into the bank and all of sudden you weren't there anymore!" she scolds.

"I got distracted, I'm sorry!" Haesel says and she doesn't know why she doesn't mention the boy she met because she could've been there sooner, she knows it.

"Well don't do that anymore." her Mum says and she pulls her in for another hug.

They don't stay very much longer after that, just enough to collect a heavy bag with books and some other items that will help them understand this new world. Haesel sticks to Lily like glue. Her sister doesn't mind. She only wonders at the dust on Haesel's coat and it's then that Haesel spills the secret about where she's been the entire time, standing between the bookshelves.

Lily is jealous that she already got to meet someone they'll be going to Hogwarts with and she's doubly intent on finding and meeting the boy in the park back home. They wait for their parents at the shop window, Haesel looking for Sirius and Lily just observing the people walking by.

She doesn't see him anymore, though.

**Hi!**

**An extra long chapter! Because Haesel meeting Sirius went on a bit longer than I'd thought it would, hah. I hope you liked it!**

**Special thanks to Lizzy B, to whom I unfortunately can't reply. It's great to hear from you! So thank you :)**

**Best wishes for a lovely New Year!**


	6. Life taught me those lessons

Petunia drops her book-bag and the bag with her sports uniform and lacrosse sticks on her bed and sighs blissfully as she stretches her arms a little. She's tried lessening the weight of her trunk by sticking all her school books in the leather messenger bag she got last year, but where the trunk is lighter her bag is now awfully heavy. She's sure there is a red spot where the strap has been.

"Over here all right, honey?" she hears her father ask and she turns quickly, surprised she hasn't heard him come up the stairs with her trunk.

"Sure, thank you." she says and he places it down at the end of her bed, where it usually stands when she's home for the holidays. He stands and stretches.

"What do you put in there, stones?" he jokes.

Petunia scowls. "I'll have you know that's mostly clothes! I took out my school books." She gestures to the bag on her bed, making a great dent in the crisp bedding. Petunia loves her Mum, she really does – arriving home to lovely cooked food and a clean room with fresh bedding is a delight, every time.

"I'll leave you to your unpacking then, I've got some errands to run for tonight." he winks. "Your mum left you a hamper for your dirty clothes, but don't worry, she'll do them. Oh, and you can expect your favourites tonight." he smiles.

Petunia is surprised. Sure, Mum always makes something more special the first night she is back, but her favourites? Then it clicks. She groans.

"Don't tell me you got a letter from school!"

Her father laughs. "Right you are! And forgive me not for being ever so proud of you."

Petunia shakes her head. There's no arguing with Dad when he's like that. Better to change the subject before he's gushing about how wonderful she is or something along those lines.

If she'd knew all this trouble was going to come from it, she'd done just a little bit worse on her finals and then she'd never been Honour Student of the Year. The title is far more trouble than it's worth.

"Where is Mum, anyway?"

The knowing look she gets ensures her that the subject is not closed yet, but he allows the change. "She went out to London, to get the test results of the twins."

"They've finished already?" she asks in surprise. Then her brow furrows a little. "I didn't know you could pick them up, I thought they mailed in cases like these."

Her father laughs again. "Well, turns out you're not the only special one in the family. They called for a personal conversation and Ivy wanted some extra information for next year anyway, so she went ahead today."

"Then why do I see Haesel beside the pool? Shouldn't they've gone with Mum?"

"Ah, she's there?" Dad moves to look out of the window. He hums. "That's not entirely unexpected." he says, but it's so quietly spoken Petunia isn't sure she was meant to hear it. She decides to ignore it then.

"So I take it the results were fine?"

Because Hogwarts apparently doesn't offer O levels or A levels in things such as Maths and English and Science, Mum and Dad have insisted that the twins do their exams in those things every summer so that they'll not get behind or are unable to go to university later on if they so wish. They've recently taken their first batch of tests to prove they've finished this year, and in a normal situation, would be able to continue on to Secondary School.

"Indeed they were. In fact, they scored so high, the lady in charge had them take the first year Secondary School tests as well." The smug expression on Robert's face tells her that he's not entirely surprised at that. In fact, if he were to be believed, he had known his daughters – all three of them – were geniuses ages before anyone else found out. Then again, he's been saying ever since Petunia spoke her first word years ago.

It was book.

"But no, they were not required to be there in person." Robert looks at his watch. "I got to go now, honey. Make yourself at home." he winks at her again when he says this and she smiles in return. It's their custom, almost.

She moves to the trunk to unpack but thinks better of it and decides to wander through the house a little, to see if anything has changed in her absence. It's not much. The couch in the living room is new, but she knew about that from Mum's letters, and there are some new towels in lovely bright colours in the bathroom, but the real change is when she chances into the twins' attic room.

Instead of the huge bed that used to dominate the space two double beds are standing against opposite walls. She knew that the huge bed had gone – an accident with a candle way before Christmas – but in the Winter holiday the two beds were still pushed together in it's place.

Now, the once so cozy rooms speaks of distance and Petunia worriedly remembers Haesel, alone in the garden. Their letters were cheerful enough, but has anything happened they had not told her about?

She goes over the room once again. It's fairly easy to see which side is which. Haesel's covers are green on black and Lily's a deep purple. On Lily's side books are stacked haphazardly on shelves interspersed with stuffed animals, while Haesel has organised her books on colour and the bedside cabinet is full of photographs.

It looks normal enough, but Petunia can't shake the feeling of distance she gets, so she wanders outside with a little stop in the kitchen for an apple to snack on. It feels like it was ages ago she had Leaving Lunch at school, before the school year was officially over and her Dad had come to pick her up.

Haesel is so engrossed into her book that she doesn't notice Petunia until she sits in the chair beside her. When she does, however, she tucks a letter to mark her page before snapping the book closed and leaning over to give Petunia a heartfelt hug.

When they settle back on their respective chairs Petunia glances to the book. _History of Magic_ is written in golden letters on the cover. It's bound in leather and looks terribly interesting.

"Huh." she says. "May I borrow it sometime, d'you think? Or is that not allowed?"

Haesel shrugs. "I don't think it matters – not for history, at least. If you want you can read some now? I've already read it, but it is very interesting." she smiles.

"You might want to take out your bookmark, then, in that case." Petunia says and there is mischief in her voice. Haesel unexpectedly colours and snatches the letter out before handing the book over.

Having found something far more interesting for the time being, Petunia puts it aside. She raises an eyebrow in a silent enquiry.

Haesel colours some more. "It's from Sirius." she says after a little while.

"Ah, the boy you met in that Alley, what was it called again?"

"Diagon Alley." Haesel nods.

"You've been writing to him?" Petunia couldn't keep her amusement out of her voice if she tried.

Haesel scowls defensively and Petunia laughs. Ah, so easy to tease!

"Not you too!" Haesel exclaims and Petunia suddenly detects something truly uncomfortable in her expression. She remembers the distance she's seen in the room upstairs and calms herself.

"Haesel-love, where is Lily?" she asks softly.

Haesel stills and looks down, worrying a corner of the letter she holds. Petunia wonders about the comfort it seems to give her and resolves to ask more later. For now, it seems she has a problem on hand.

"She's out." is what her littlest sister finally says and Petunia almost has to stain her ears to catch it.

"Out where?"

"Probably at the park. With that Snape boy."

There's real resentment in her voice as she says that and Petunia has to work her memory to remember who this is again. Then she has it. Some of Lily's letters have mentioned a new friend she's made, a boy who's apparently a wizard and will be going to Hogwarts with them. She said he was pretty smart and well informed about the Wizarding World.

She now remembers that it struck her as strange that the name was nowhere to be found in any of Haesel's letters, and it seems she has just found out why.

"You don't like him?" It's fairly obvious she doesn't, but she has to get Haesel talking somehow and easing her into it has always worked best, a few questions until the dam bursts and Haesel spews it all out herself.

Yet again it has worked as Haesel looks up, eyes flashing.

"He always stares at me strangely! Always asks me to come with but I don't want to, he gives me the creeps! He's weird and it has nothing to do with being a wizard because I know a wizard" – she waves around with the letter at this – "and he's nothing like it. Always going on about the greatness of magic and okay, I think magic is wonderful too, but he seems almost disdainful of normal people and that's not right! Lily brings him 'round some times and he's polite enough to Mum and Dad but I can just see he doesn't like them, I mean, what they are."

She scowls again and looks her older sister square in the eye. "He questioned us why we keep writing to you and talk about you so often because he said, he said -" she breaks off and it's clear she's really mad now. "He said that it wasn't worth it because you couldn't do magic!"

Petunia is a little taken aback.

"But you're not, you're great and you're Honour Student this year, at Cheltenham's no less! That's really, really cool and I'm really proud to have you as my sister and Lily thinks the same."

Petunia is touched and says so. Haesel smiles at her and it's a sight she'll treasure forever – that beaming smile that just screams love at her. She's fairly certain this face will stay with her 'till she drops dead, at whatever age that may be.

"But... worst of all... It feels like he's stolen Lily from me." Haesel admits and there it is, the one thing that feels even heavier than the rest of it. "He's told her so much, always pulling her off to talk some more. Lily invites me the whole time, and he does too, but well I said I didn't like him very much so I always say no and besides, Sirius tells me loads of stuff anyway, but Lily doesn't listen to that anymore. I just.. I just feel I've somehow lost Lily."

She's worrying the letter again and Petunia sighs. "Oh Haesel. Come here."

Her littlest sister looks exactly so right in that moment and it takes Petunia back to the first time she arrived at their home, so stiff and painfully thin, not recovered from the horrible ordeal she went through. Through the years she's gained some weight, grown a little taller, but she always seems to stay a little thin, a little more breakable.

Petunia hugs her for a while. Haesel sniffs sometimes and she knows that the kindest thing is to pretend she's not holding in tears and just letting her sister be, but it hurts Petunia like a knife when Haesel admits in a small voice that they haven't practiced their music together in a while. She just tightens her hold.

Some time passes and Petunia lets go. "So that Snape boy doesn't like, what's the word, moggies?"

"Muggles." Haesel laughs. "I'm a muggle-born, because my parents are muggles."

Her laugh fades away a little and she clutches the letter again. Petunia notes she hasn't let it go at all, in fact. Hah, very interesting indeed!

"Sirius, he's a Pureblood – from a family that's entirely magic, has been for ages. He told me that there's this racial conflict in the Wizarding World, kind of like the segregation in the United States?"

Petunia nods. She still remembers when Martin Luther King, Jr was assassinated in 1968, only three years ago. She'd tried to read everything she could get her hands on, back then.

"Well, it's sort of like that, but instead with how much Muggle blood you have, or better yet, how little. Sirius says that most people don't really care and the Headmaster of our school is supposed to be really fair and interested in equality, but well it is a bit worrisome still."

Petunia nods, but Haesel isn't finished yet.

"Snape, well, Lily calls him Sev -"

"Sev?" Petunia raises an eyebrow. She can't help it. Her friends at the dormitory joke it's almost her default expression and she's all to aware that her little sisters often imitate it.

"His name is actually Severus Snape."

Petunia snorts. "His parents weren't too kind to him, I think. That's a name guaranteed to bring teasing!"

Haesel is thoughtful. "I overheard Mum gossiping in the shop once to Mrs Brown and I think she said that his parents have a lot of problems, such as his Dad drinking and such. He lives at Spinner's End too."

Petunia wrinkles her nose at that.

"Anyway, he said to Lily that she shouldn't worry about it at all and it's going to be fine. He wants her to try out for Slytherin, me too, actually."

"Those were the Houses your school has, right?" Petunia confirms. She has understood from various letters that not unlike her school, where you belong to a certain House or dorm, Hogwarts is separated into four houses according to the different founders of the school.

"Slytherin is famous for cunning, ambition and resourcefulness." Haesel says and they share a laugh together at the idea of Lily being cunning. She's a very headstrong person and very smart, but a bit obvious and has not a sneaky bone in her body.

"Personally, I think she's Gryffindor, the house of the brave and noble people." Haesel smiles. "If you were a witch I would have said you were a Ravenclaw!"

"What are those?"

"They're smart and love knowledge." Haesel says cheekily. Petunia hums. It's true, she is indeed always in pursuit of more things to read, more things to know.

"And you?"

"Hufflepuf!" grins Haesel. "Loyalty, patience, fairness and hard work."

"Hard work?" Petunia teases. "Patience?" she grins in return. Haesel acts offended. "No, I think Gryffindor sounds more like you. You're braver than you think you are, you know. Not afraid to be who you are."

Haesel laughs suddenly. She waves the letter again. "I think you and Sirius would get along. He says the same things!"

"I would like to get to know him." Petunia winks and Haesel can't help the blush that steals over her cheeks. "Do tell me all about him!"

"We met in the Alley, back in February." Haesel starts. It's clear she's not going to mention why or how she got to be so attached to the boy, but Petunia takes what she can get. "He accidentally ran me over and then bought me a pastry to make up for it."

"That's a great tale to tell your children, later." Petunia says with a smile. Haesel sputters for a second before she can continue again.

"We've kept into contact and he's told me a lot about the Wizarding World and Hogwarts."

"And you trust his information more than that what Snape tells Lily?"

"Yes, definitely! He doesn't lie to me, in any case. He's sometimes a bit stiff, his family is of quite high social standing so he's been raised very properly. He can sometimes be a bit.. obtuse. Like he is evading certain things, but he never lies."

"High social standing, what do you mean? Nobility of some kind?"

"Apparently, yes. It's different to what nobility we have, in the Muggle world, but I can't explain it well. It's in the book though, you should definitely read it."

Petunia smiles at that. "I think I shall. Have you read many books already?"

Her answer is an empathic nod.

"We went for extra information, didn't we say so? In February. Dad has gone back once more but without us, and he picked me up some more books. Sirius has been giving me advice on things to read to better understand the Wizarding World and so far it has been fascinating!"

There's real enthusiasm there and even though nothing has been resolved yet, Petunia knows it will.

Haesel levels her with a look. "You'll get to go as well, to the Alley! We're going for school supplies in the 23th of August. Mum thinks less people will go on a Monday." she smiles. "Sirius says he's going to convince his uncle to take him then as well, and perhaps some friends of his too."

"His uncle?" Petunia inquires, wondering if the boy is maybe an orphan.

Haesel's grin is bright. "He doesn't get along with his mother and that one time we were in Diagon Alley he pranked her so bad she has said she's never taking him anymore, which he was delighted with, of course."

"Really," Petunia tries her hand at an interested drawl. "Tell me more."

Haesel does so, and Petunia is glad to know that when she's going to Hogwarts at least she'll go with a friend.

And a sister – she has the rest of the summer to work on this. It'll be fine by the time September rolls around. It has to be.

**Hi! **

**I know I said to several people that I wouldn't update until after the 19th when my finals were over, but the pressure is getting to me and I needed a little time to unwind. I know not much happens in this chapter, mostly just Petunia and Haesel talking, but I'm setting up for a lot of other things to happen such as the visit to Diagon Alley which will be next chapter and then on to Hogwarts, so yep, stuff coming up!**

**I hope you all had a lovely new year! I'm posting this and then back to my history (oral exam number two tomorrow) texts!**

**Thank you for reading, hope you liked it!**


	7. That are hard to learn

It hasn't.

At the start of summer, Petunia was so sure she could fix the gap that has grown between her sisters, but as she pulls on her dainty summer sandals for the trip to Diagon Alley – she's making sure to look her best for it – she reflects on the fact she hasn't made any progress.

They still love each other dearly, that's not the problem. And when Petunia remarked to Lily that Haesel missed her, Lily had instantly gone to spend more time with her twin. Haesel, grateful, had insisted on spending days by the pool and making more music together. Petunia also managed to convince their parents to take a week off to go hiking in Scotland. She has no idea where Hogwarts is, except that it is in Scotland and she's fairly sure they've not come close, but the wild Highlands and the city of Edinburgh were wonderful anyway, so she doesn't mind. Her parents also liked the idea of spending time as a family before all three of them would be off to a boarding school, so she likes to think that brought the family a little closer again.

Haesel sits down beside her on the cough to lace up her favourite bright red Converse. She's dressed in a pair of shorts and a casual shirt. It's a simple outfit, but it looks very good on her. Lily is wearing similar clothes and once more the resemblance they share with each other is starting.

The doorbell rings. Lily perks up.

"Mum, Dad, Sev's here!"

"Yes, Sev's here." Haesel mutters under her breath but she smiles at the boy anyway. Petunia is amused by how cold the smile actually is, not that anyone will notice but Petunia knows her sister so she smiles as she settles her sunglasses in her hair.

It's a bright summer day, perfect for shopping. They're leaving for London in a matter of minutes and Severus Snape and his mother are joining them on their trip.

Haesel is suddenly resentful of the family van, because that means they all fit. If they had had a car with only five seats the Snape boy couldn't have come because Petunia would never let this chance to see the Wizarding Alley go – and quite possibly get to meet Haesel's friend Sirius – so it would be family only. Even if they did meet up with the boy, she still would be able to slip off with Sirius and Petunia if she didn't mind. She'd already asked Mum, who by now has a lot more confidence in the whole business than she had back in winter.

They all have. They've known about the Wizarding World for only more than half a year and yet it seems as if it's always been that way. They've all been reading the books they got at the Alley, so they're all up to date with mostly everything magic. Mum and Petunia have been joking about getting some summer robes as well because they look really comfy for lazing about in summer, not to mention that to any question they could just claim some sort of new Oriental thing going on.

Haesel eyes the boy she still silently accuses of trying to steal her sister, even though Petunia getting back from school has made a great deal of difference. Severus – all right, she's just going to call him Snape in her mind because she's maybe not given to hate but she sure as hell isn't going to call him by his name in her mind – wears ill-fitting Muggle clothes, all in black, and she wonders how he can keep breathing in the late August heat. He looks like his mother, she can now say. They've got the same sharp nose and stingy-looking black locks. His mother is not particularly pretty, but she's not bad looking either, just an average face in a sea of strangers.

Haesel can only wonder at the difference as her Mum descents the stairs, trying to fix her hair into a loose chignon to keep away. Ivy is wearing a lovely dress with flowers and having kept the cobble stones of Diagon Alley in mind, a pair of laced up sandals with flat soles. She slings her handbag over her shoulder and ushers them out of the house, making polite small talk with Eileen Prince, as Haesel learns Snape's mother is called. It's clear both woman don't care much for the other, and Haesel can kind of understand why. Her Mum is beautiful, with her fiery red hair and green eyes. She's happily married to a wonderful husband who dotes on her, as is apparent when Dad whistles when he sees Mum, not to mention having three gorgeous, brilliant daughters and living in a great house in a wonderful neighbourhood.

Eileen Prince, on the other hand, has bruises she tries to hide with long sleeves and looks entirely ordinary. She's not pretty or very talented, lives in the less than wonderful neighbourhood Spinner's End. Her only joy is her son, but they're both a touch on the wrong side of the oddness-scale, even for wizards. Haesel can easily see that the woman knows she's not very welcome, but everyone stays very polite instead.

Haesel wonders if she should feel sorry for her, and decides she does. She's sure that she mustn't have had a very easy life, but she's also sure that if that were her, she wouldn't have stayed. She would have fought for her own rights, her own freedom – she's never take any form of beating staying down.

She'd never cower.

Haesel locks eyes with Lily and is, for a moment, utterly sure they share the same thoughts. She remembers Petunia saying _Gryffindor_ and suddenly she's sure that yes, maybe she'll be brave enough.

The ride to London is as dull as it always is. Mum and Dad have the front seats and they've given Eileen Prince the window seat out of politeness so Petunia and Haesel share the rest of the middle row and Lily and Snape take the back seats. When they are parked near the Leaky Cauldron and file out into the heavy summer air, Lily pipes up excitedly.

"You know, we could do this the first of September as well, all go together!"

Snape looks terribly excited. Haesel has to concentrate hard on keeping her face blank.

Robert looks uncomfortable. Ivy, trading glances with her husband, finally moves to answer.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, darling. After we've dropped off you two, we're bringing Petunia to Cheltenham's. We're going to have to take out the back seat for the trunks as it is, I don't think there will be space enough."

Lily looks a bit disappointed, but not as much as Snape, whose face falls dramatically. Luckily, a scene is avoided as Eileen Prince cuts in.

"I'd like to bring my son to the platform for the first time as well." There's a quiet rebuke in her voice and her eyes are stern as she looks towards Lily who flushes at the implication that they'd steal her son away and not let her have any time with him on one of the most important days in a child's life.

Ivy places a hand on Lily's shoulder and unconsciously Haesel moves to flank her twin sister. Scratch the fact she's happy that day will be family only, no one gets to attack Lily and get away with it. She's not so sure she pities Eileen anymore.

"You'll still be able to sit together on the train, won't you?" Robert suggests and he pulls the door of the Leaky open, letting them all enter. "That's one thing to look forward to."

"Thanks a lot, Dad." Haesel mutters under her breath. The twitch in his left eye betrays him and he chances a quick wink at her, bending to whisper in her ear as she enters last.

"You don't have to sit with him the whole ride, Haesel love."

"Thank Morgana for that!" She smiles in return. She's quickly taken to mentioning Merlin and Morgana, picking the up habit from Sirius who frequently uses it in his letters. Suddenly she's excited again. They've agreed to meet at three for ice cream at Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, which is fairly new according to Sirius but sells the best ice cream.

They go to Gringotts first. Robert exchanges pounds for galleons while Eileen and Snape go visit their vault. They're not the only passengers for the cart going down, the other people also being a mother and son duo. Once again, Haesel is startled by the difference the two pairs present.

The unknown woman, an stately older lady with auburn hair that's already growing grey, is wearing summer robes of a lovely blue colour. Her son, of whom Haesel can't see much beside black hair and spectacles, is wearing a pair of shorts and a shirt but it's clear the items are of good quality. She watches them leave for the cart to the vaults with interest.

There are long lines at the tills, so her Dad is only just being handed a heavy sack of gold when both pairs return. Haesel has been idly watching the different people come and go, led by goblin. She wonders where the carts go, because often the faces of those retuning are more than a little green. That's why she spots Snape and his mother returning immediately.

"What the..." she says unbelieving and only the knowledge people can see keeps her from letting her mouth drop wide enough to catch flies. At her exclamation, both Lily and Petunia look over from where they'd been having a conversation with Mum about fashion, something Haesel isn't particularly interested in.

She doesn't have to see it to know their eyes have all widened.

Snape is sporting a bloody nose and his clothes are in disarray, his to big coat missing a button. His mother is trying her best to keep her son calm and out of the way of the other boy, who's trying as hard as he can to wipe the blood on his knuckles on his shirt. His spectacles are hanging side ways, his hair sticks up in the back and he's clearly being lectured by his mum. As they get closer to the stupefied Evanses Haesel can hear part of it.

"– and I don't care if he started it, James, I expect better than that from you! Fighting with a complete stranger the moment I'm out of sight, in Gringotts no less!"

The boy – James – is still trying to clean his bleeding hand on his shirt. His mother pulls him to a stop with an exasperated sigh, pulling out her wand and healing the injury with a wave. Another wave removes the blood and yet another repairs the spectacles.

Haesel can't help but be impressed. The witch is clearly very good, to be able to do all that non-verbal.

The witch turns to Eileen, clearly about to offer some sort of apology and maybe offer some healing as well, but Eileen gives only a curt thank you and continues on, pulling Snape past the Evanses and out the bank.

"What was that?" Robert asks Ivy when he joins them, pocketing the galleons and handing a small pouch to Ivy who tucks it into her handbag.

Ivy shrugs. "I've got no idea."

The witch has seen them standing there and has obviously concluded they know Eileen and Snape. She moves towards them, gesturing her son to follow.

"Excuse me, might you be friends with the woman who just went past?"

"We're more of casual acquaintances, I suppose." Robert says and Ivy agrees with a nod.

"I wanted to, ah, offer my apologies but I don't suppose you'd be able to help me, now." the witch says and she smiles. Although she's getting on in years she's still very beautiful, looking almost regal. She extends a hand. "Lady Dorea Potter. I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm still very delighted to meet you."

Haesel's parents shake her hand and introduce themselves. The girls exchange wide glances. Haesel supposes that she's one of those people that Sirius told her about, the nobility of the Wizarding World.

She feels eyes on her and looks away from her sisters to see James looking at her. Considering that he's hit Snape, something she's been wanting to do for some time whenever she felt particularly resentful towards him, she gives him a wide smile. He smiles in return, a bit startled by the brilliance of the one she has granted him with.

Lily has obviously made the link between James' bloody knuckles and Snape's bleeding nose as well, but she's not nearly as happy. The presence of their parents hold her back however and she settles for giving James a good angry glare before dismissing him by turning in for the conversation their parents are having now.

James turns to Haesel, confused. They're the only ones not paying attention now, as even Petunia is pulled into the conversation which has progressed into gushing about their children, as any parent is wont to do.

Haesel leans over a bit. "She's friends with Snape – the boy you hit."

"Excuse me, I punched him. Right in the face." James says and he manages to sound very proud of that. Haesel reckons he's got reason to be and can't keep herself from saying so, glancing furtively at Lily to see if she's not listening, but her twin is smiling at Lady Potter, who she obviously likes despite her progeny.

"You're not, then?" James asks.

"Not at all." Haesel denies. "I think he's a little creepy but don't tell my sister I said that. She insists on hanging out with him."

James gets a look on his face similar to one smelling something bad. "Why would she do that? He's an absolute prick!"

"I haven't got the foggiest." Haesel laments. "But, about that, what happened down there?"

"We were visiting our vaults, mine last because it's quite deep – we're quite an old family and the older the family the –"

"-deeper the vault, yes, I know." Haesel interrupts. James grins and holds up his hands.

"All right, easy there. Anyway, Mum had gone in to retrieve money to buy school supplies and that boy made a snide remark about how money might not mean brains or class, I suppose that was because Mum and I were talking about the prank I pulled with my friends last week, and I couldn't let him say anything about my Mum, so I hit him."

"Sounds reasonable, I suppose." Haesel says and in a copy of James' mother earlier sticks out her hand. "I'm Haesel Evans. That's my family, my Mum, Dad, Petunia and Lily." She indicates each one with a little wave of her hand.

James' eyes go wide. "You're Haesel Evans?" he asks, but completes the introduction with a "James Potter, nice to meet you."

"What do you mean, I'm Haesel Evans?" Haesel frowns. She's fairly sure he can't have heard of her, considering she's Muggleborn and all.

"Nothing." James says with a grin. His mother is saying her goodbye's so he waves at Haesel before saying, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes: "I'll see you for ice cream at three!"

Haesel gapes at his retreating back.

She's still wondering how he knows that she's having ice cream at three when they exit the robes shop, already laden down with packages. They've visited the bookshop and apothecary already and go for a cauldron and scales next. Petunia thinks it's awfully funny that everything about the Wizarding World is so horribly cliché, with brooms, robes, cauldrons and even cats.

That doesn't stop her from adding a volume about _Wizards in the Wide World: An Introduction to Worldwide Wizardry _to the pile of books, though.

When they're buying trunks, Haesel is quick to convince her parents to let her have a nice leather book-bag as well. The owner of the shop is nice enough to charm both the trunks and the bag something he calls featherlight and even places an enlargement charm on the bag so Haesel will surely be able to fit all her books inside.

Seeing this, Lily wants one as well and it's a while before she's done choosing 'the bag you'll have to use the next seven years, all right honey?'.

Lily looks up and down the Alley when they're walking to their last official stop – Ollivander's Wand Shop – but she's unable to spot Snape. She hasn't got much time to be sad about it, because now they'll be getting their wands and Haesel grasps Lily's hand when they enter. Lily gives a squeeze in return.

Inside, the shop is large and dusty. There's a counter in from with a little golden bell on it and a few low chairs in front of it. Although it's only growing close to three in the afternoon, not much light is let into the shop by the almost grimy windows.

Petunia gives the whole place one look and promptly starts sneezing, her dust allergy kicking in with a violence. Ivy hands her packages to her husband and quickly takes her outside.

When they turn to the counter again, an old man with a great deal of white hair is leaning against it and Haesel and Lily jump synchronised in sudden fright. Even Robert can't hide a twitch.

"Welcome to Ollivanders. Off to Hogwarts this year, I presume?" he says, and Haesel likes his voice, dry and soft spoken as he is he seems to fit right in with the rest of the dusty shop. "I do apologise for ...your sister, I presume? When you're as old as I am, you tend to skip the spring cleaning, sometimes."

Considering the flaking gold letters across the door read 'Wand Makers since 382 BC' Haesel is inclined to agree.

"Now, step forward." He indicates Lily and she gives a last squeeze before letting go. It doesn't take very long before Lily produces red sparks with a 'swishy' willow wand, apparently excellent for charm work.

Haesel is next to step up. She watches the funny tape measure the length of her fingers and the distance between her nose and her knees as Ollivander brings out wand after wand, but none of the chose her. She's starting to almost doubt being a witch after all when Ollivander brings out a box which he places reverently in an empty spot between the boxes with wands already tries. He opens it and hands her the wand, holly with phoenix feather and as soon as her fingers grasp the handle Haesel _knows_ that this is her wand.

Invisible wind blows her hair back and somewhere there's a distant melody, almost birdsong but much more beautiful and Haesel knows that melody, that's her lullaby, the one she never learns but could still play.

Everyone is impressed and Haesel barely notices her father paying for the wands or Ollivander reaching for parchment and a quill to pen a letter. She slips the box holding her wand into her new bag which already has most of her books. To lighten the load on their parents, Lily has done the same and they once more clasp hands when they leave.

It's almost strange, stepping out into the sunlight once more. Haesel is surprised to be unable to spot either her mother or her older sister.

Dad has noticed her looking. "Your mother and Petunia have gone to that boutique we saw a while back. They, well, Ivy did, I don't think Petunia will enter here again, nipped in for a moment right after Lily got her wand. I don't think you were paying much attention."

He smiles. Lily, who had been paying about as much attention as Haesel herself, immediately starts asking to go there herself. Robert notices Haesel's reluctance and looking between his two daughters thinks of a solution. He needs to go see if Ivy still has enough galleons and he doesn't quite trust Lily not to get to distracted with something new and marvellous on the way to the boutique, so he'll have to go down with her. Haesel has already proven herself able to navigate the Alley on her own and in her own way she's just a little less exited than Lily can be. Not to mention she's mentioned wanting to go somewhere?

"All right. I'll accompany Lily to where your Mum and Petunia are and Haesel, you're free to go look at that shop you were talking about." He ignores Lily's pout and fishes some sickles and knuts out of his pockets that he hands to Haesel, who's surprised but delighted.

Robert checks his watch and tries to calculate how much time the girls will want to spend fitting clothes. Lily notices him looking and guessing the reason why, nudges him and whispers "An hour at least, Dad!"

He's always found it hard to say no to his daughters - that's part of the reason they have a pool now - and this time is no exception. He gives in, making Haesel promise to meet them at the boutique if she's done before four and if she isn't she's to find them at Eylops Owl Emporium where they're going to maybe look for an owl for the girls.

They split up and Haesel cheerfully makes her way to Fortescue's. She's early and she can't see Sirius anywhere, so she goes ahead and browses the different tastes.

"Chicken with roasted potatoes? People actually like having that sort of ice cream?" She exclaims upon noticing a really weird flavour.

"Not sure.. Sounds all right anyway, though my favourite is chocolate." A boy's voice says close to her left ear. Haesel jumps what feels like a mile high in sudden fright. She twists around to catch a glimpse of who scared her so, but ends up tripping over her own feet and falling down in a tangle of limbs.

She's caught before she can touch the ground, and familiar hands set het back on her feet. She sees a familiar face set into a familiar grin and moves to hug Sirius even when a little voice in the back her head remarks on his strength, to have caught her so.

"Easy there." Sirius says but he hugs her in return, carefully patting her back to check she's not hurt.

"I'm fine." Haesel dismisses. "Happens all the time. All the graceful genes went to my older sisters, so there were none left for me." She pouts excessively making clear she's just joking.

"Poor you." Sirius says and as one they turn to the ice cream. Neither of them remarks on the arm that's still around Haesel's shoulders as Haesel ends up asking for raspberry and mango and Sirius just goes with chocolate after all.

They find a table outside just inside the shade provided by a big potted plant placed there, which is more like a small tree in a pot than anything else, Haesel can't help but notice.

"Say, you don't mind if I invited an acquaintance of mine, do you?" Sirius says finally when they've covered everything from the last letter somewhere in July before Haesel went camping to today.

Haesel shakes her head. "If it's really that boy I met in Gringotts today, then no. He punched Snape in the face, so for today he's my hero."

"I am?" A pleased voice says from beside their table. Haesel, once again, can't help a squeak of surprise.

"What's up with you people, I'll have a heart attack at this rate!"

"Isn't a little fright supposed to be good for the blood and such? Mum was telling Dad that yesterday, after I'd caught him - finally! - with a, if I may say so, bloody brilliant one." James says and it's hard to be mad at him when he looks like a cat who was caught with the cream after eating most of it, so even scared away it's secure in it's victory.

"So it worked then, did it?" Sirius asks and James nods.

"That idea was just .." He motions with his hands as if no words can describe how good it was.

Sirius nods like he'd expected that all along. "It was Haesel's plan, actually."

James rounds on her, eyes wide. "It was?"

Haesel's starting to get an idea what they're talking about. "Is this about the 'set traps with magic and then catch them like a Muggle'?"

Both boys nod.

"Ah, yep, that seems like it would work." Now it's Haesel's turn to be smug.

"Please, Mistress, teach me!" James looks like he's about to fall on his knees to beg and Sirius jabs an elbow in his side to keep him quiet. He's just noticed James' Mum coming up behind them with two cones.

"Here you go, darling." She says and James groans "Mum!"

Dorea Potter merely looks amused as she floats another chair over to the little table and seats herself elegantly.

"Now what we you children talking about?"

As one, the three say: "Hogwarts." without ever having to look at each other.

"We were telling Haesel here some more about what to expect, Lady Potter, because she's Muggleborn." Sirius adds.

"How many time do I have to tell you to just call me Aunt Dorea, dear? We're related, after all. And I already knew that, seeing as I met her parents at Gringotts." She turns to Haesel. "We've met, but I don't think we've been introduced? I am, as Sirius so sweetly mentioned, Lady Dorea Potter, but you may call me Aunt Dorea as well."

Haesel blinks. She can see why her Mum and Mrs Potter got along so well. "Ehm, sure, thank you? I am Haesel Evans." She's not sure if she needs to shake hands, but Dorea solves the problem by leaning over and giving her three kisses in the air. She ends up sitting there a bit stupefied, but with an honest smile on her face.

"I'm most pleased James finally made a friend of the other sex! He's usually so shy around women, I wasn't sure if I'd ever get grandchildren!"

Sirius and Haesel studiously avoid looking at each other as James bangs his head on the table with a muttered curse of "Mum please!"

Dorea just sits and smiles and enjoys her ice cream.

It's with regret Haesel announces that it is time for het to meet up with her family. Sirius insist on going with her, saying he's still got time before his uncle will be looking for him. They say goodbye to James and Dorea. Haesel promises to meet up with James as well on the train, and when they're in the middle of a goodbye hug James whispers he'll write to her about pranks because that's the first time he's gotten one over his father, who's Head Auror and battle trained. Haesel is laughing the whole way down to the Emporium.

Her cheery mood is gone the instant she spots both Snape and his mother with her family. She grabs Sirius and yanks him behind a sign proclaiming something about kittens.

"Is that..?" Sirius asks and she nods glumly.

"I was sort of hoping they'd gone home on their own, but seems like luck's not on my side today." Haesel sighs.

Sirius chuckles lightly. "Well, good thing I am, then." He says and he takes her hand before pulling her forward.

"Afternoon!" He says, cheerful like only he can be approaching Haesel's family seemingly without fear. "My name is Sirius Black and I'm a friend of your daughter's."

Haesel gives a little squeak and pulls on his hand but Sirius refuses to let go and it's then she notices the strong grip he has on her hand, the most sign of nerves she's ever seen him have.

Ivy can only keep herself from squealing in glee with a herculean effort. Robert is significantly less pleased and Petunia looks on, certain of her amusement. Lily is staring down at their joined hands and up at her twin's face in a repeat motion, while Snape's face is a study in surprise. Haesel is sure even Eileen Prince looked surprised there for a moment and she tucks the knowledge away they know which family Sirius belongs to and how significant it is he's willing to declare himself a friend to a Muggleborn girl.

"So nice to meet you! Haesel's been talking about you for ages now! I'm Ivy Evans, Haesel's mother, and this is Robert, her father."

Robert grunts something that sounds suspiciously more like 'I didn't know that friend was a boy!' than 'Nice to meet you.'

Petunia and Lily introduce themselves next, but Snape and his mother keep to themselves which is, Haesel can't help but think, terribly rude.

Robert, finally having gotten over his shock, ushers them into the Emporium. The fact she's being introduced to Haesel's friend means Lily is almost unable to tear herself from Haesel's side and she's almost entirely ignoring Snape, the who trails after her like a lost puppy.

There are many beautiful and impressive owls, but none Haesel really likes. She's not sure what she's looking for, but she keeps thinking 'nah, not white enough' or 'too small' so when she's finally seen them all there's no owl that keeps her attention. Lily finds a lovely barn owl she decides to call Archimedes after Merlin's owl in Disney's The Sword in the Stone, which was her favourite film growing up.

They're both disappointed until Petunia suggests taking a look in the pet shop right beside the Emporium.

It's there that Haesel meets the mischievous kitten she falls in love with the moment it's handed to her. The kitten is almost a mirror image of her with black fur and green eyes and Sirius insists she gets that one, saying it would be bad luck not too. The only difference is the one white paw it has.

Haesel considers and then says: "Welcome to the family, Boots."

There's a strangled sound behind her that Sirius will forever deny producing. He'll also deny to his dying day having laughed at how she named her cat.

**Hi!**

**So I'm almost finished (but to be honest, I'm rather looking forward to my oral English final) and I though I'd celebrate by going for a really long chapter! ^^**

**A very big thank you to everyone taking the time to read this! I love reviews, and I love favourites and I love followers! And, most of all, I love all the people who take the time to read what I write. I don't need to have proof – and I'd never dream of asking for reviews – but even so, watching the stats for this story makes my day, just the same as when I get a review or a fav/follow. I keep looking at it! I'm so bloody happy about all of it ^^**

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	8. And I knew

It is with an air of satisfaction that Haesel places her cat carrier on top of her trunk, ignoring Boots' pleas to be let out.

"Just a bit longer, darling. Until we're on the train."

"You've got to stop talking to your cat as if it's going to answer, you know." Lily says, green eyes bright and happy.

"As if you're not talking to your owl." Haesel scoffs and then they both laugh. The day they've been waiting for so long has finally arrived and they're both extremely excited. It's hardly important anymore that they are running a bit late because Haesel had forgotten her bag with books and sandwiches for on the train, and half an hour in they had to return for it.

Traffic was on their side today, however - which is extremely lucky considering it's London - and they've made it at ten forty. The whole family accompanies the twins as they push their trolleys through the barrier that separates the rest of King's Cross from Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

They all go collectively "Ooh.." at the sight awaiting them there. There's a great scarlet engine all the way to the front with countless carriages behind it, all looking brand new and shiny.

The platform is a hive of activity, with parents hugging children, friends reuniting after a summer apart, people calling and laughing and trunks are abandoned all over the place. After a moment to properly appreciate all of it, they push their trolleys to the nearest carriage that looks fairly empty still. Robert and Petunia help them lift the trunks into the train, where they leave them in an empty compartment, the cat and owl carriers on top of them.

Once back on the platform, there's a solemn moments of silence, until Ivy breaks it.

"Well then.. This is it!" She dabs at her eyes.

"Mum!" Lily groans but even she is moved. Petunia laughs and breaks the stalemate as she moves to hug her sisters.

"Remember, just write to Mum and Dad and they'll forward it to me, but in case of an emergency, you can always send Archimedes to Cheltenham's." She ruffles Haesel's hair and then Lily's, revelling in the shared looks of annoyance she receives.

Robert is next. He pulls them both in at the same time and whispers into their hair that they're always welcome to come home if it's too much and don't forget to write all right?

Ivy can obviously hardly keep in her tears and that makes the twins teary as well, so Petunia starts to pull her Mum along before she can get embarrassing, using the fact they still need to get to her school too.

With a final wave and "Have fun but not too much!" from their Mum the rest of the Evanses leave the platform.

Haesel and Lily step on the train and settle in their compartment. Haesel lets Boots out of his carrier and holds him as they observe the families still swarming on the platform below, now obviously saying goodbye as the clock ticks closer to eleven. A couple of late arrivals hurries to put both trunks and children on the train.

Finally, the whistle blows and then they're off.

For all their earlier excitement, now both of them are a little less exuberant, the fact they've hardly slept the last night catching up to them. Lily pulls a book from her bag and Haesel her travel pillow to maybe take a wee nap.

It doesn't feel very long until she's woken up by raised voices. She's obviously slipped to the side, but someone sitting next to her has caught that movement so now she's sleeping on a shoulder instead of sprawling awkwardly on the bench.

A corner of Haesel's mind hopes she hasn't been drooling or something said something unseemly.

The voices become increasingly louder and it seems no one has noticed Haesel waking up so she takes her time to observe.

Lily is still sitting across her but now Snape is beside her, already wearing his school robes. Lily's red faced and Snape appears to be arguing but it takes a moment for Haesel's sleep addled brain to understand what they're talking about. She recognises the other voices as James and the one she's been sleeping on - and hopefully not drooling as well - is Sirius. She wonders when they all came in. Boots is still on her lap, also asleep.

It's clear tensions are quickly escalating and then a comment from an unusually animated Snape makes things even worse.

"If you'd rather be brawny than brainy!"

Ah, so it's about Houses. Haesel knows from comments Sirius has dropped that to most families it's a big deal where their children end up, some families almost exclusively limited to one House in particular. She remembers how her Mum was sad Petunia wasn't in the same dorm she had been in, and understands the idea.

Obviously, Snape wants to be in Slytherin, and James is all about Gryffindor as she'd noticed in the few letters they've exchanged and the time they spend in Diagon Alley. The rivalry between those is a thing, according to what she's read.

Sirius shakes in laughter, but it's not nice laughter, the kind she's used to hear. It's cold and mocking.

"So where are you thinking to go, seeing as you're neither?"

Lily can't keep silent and rises to her friends defence. "That's uncalled for! Leave Severus alone!"

"...sorry, what did you say? His name is Snivellus?" There's honest surprise in James' voice, but Lily is too incensed to notice and thinks it's a mean joke. She's almost incoherent in her rage.

"Why you... Arrogant little.. Come on, Sev, we're out of here!"

Snape follows her out, so pleased to be defended that he almost doesn't mind the smirks the other two boys are wearing.

"It's Severus, not Snivellus." Haesel remarks softly. She's not sure what to feel. On the one hand, Snape has just insulted the House she wants to go to as well plus her friends, but on the other hand, Lily has just left her alone. Just up and gone without hardly as much as a look in her direction.

"Haesel?" Sirius exclaims. He sounds slightly guilty.

She sits up and straightens. The travel pillow, which is just a little throw pillow from the cough in all honestly, falls down forgotten behind her back. Boots has woken up as well and jumps down to the floor to stretch.

Haesel turns to face the boys. James has gone to sit in Lily's previous seat, so they can see each other better.

"That wasn't very nice." She says, careful to keep any judgement out of her voice. She's missed half the conversation, so she can't say anything but while she might not like Snape and even called James her hero for punching him, that was a one time thing with justifiable provocation, and if they're not careful it will turn to bullying.

She doesn't like bullying, no matter her personal feelings towards the intended subject just there.

James and Sirius exchange looks before Sirius speaks.

"At first it was just us and your sister and that was fairly all right, though she didn't seem very friendly."

"But she was very polite." James hastens to say.

"Yes, very polite." Sirius gives James an odd look, as if wondering why he made the comment. "But then her friend came in and the conversation turned to Houses."

"When he heard I wanted to get into Gryffindor, like my Dad, well, he said 'if you'd rather'"-

"I think I woke then, uhu." Haesel inserts. She doesn't seem to have missed much.

"So what's his name, again?" James asks, looking as if he can't believe what she said earlier.

"Severus, like some of those Roman Emperors of old."

"Named for an emperor, he doesn't look it much!" James sniggers. Haesel can't hold back a smile.

"Yes, well just call him Snape. I do, I mean, in my mind. I have to call him Severus in public, 'cause he's Lily's friend and all."

"Still don't understand why." James muses and Haesel lets him be, content to lean back into her seat. Sirius is silent beside her, observing Boots licking his paws on the floor. She wants to ask what is wrong but doesn't dare to because Sirius, as a boy, might not really like to talk about feelings or such things with his friend present. Seeing James occupied with looking out of the window - probably still musing on the strange friendship between Lily and Snape - she reaches for his hand and gives it a squeeze.

Sirius looks up and his grey eyes are grateful. She carefully mouths 'brave at heart' at him and his eyes soften as his lips pull up into a smile.

It's silent for a while before Haesel stands. Sirius has yet to release her hand and she tugs on it.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"The loo." She answers smartly and then grins. "And maybe check up on Lily as well."

His face darkens a little.

"She's my sister." Haesel says.

"She abandoned you." He counters.

She suddenly wondered why this is such a big deal and if she was maybe wrong to say 'brave' to him earlier if this was what he had been occupied with instead of the fear of having to go to a certain House because that's what his family required of him.

"It's still... She has a way to forget things when she's angry or upset, and she probably thought I was still sleeping. Beside, she might not like you much at the moment, she knows you're my friend and she trusts that you will take care of me."

She turns to James. "Both of you."

James looks sceptical. "Even though she 'dislikes' us?" He puts air quotes around dislikes.

"Even so." Haesel hums. "See, I don't like Snape, not at all in fact, but I do trust that right now, he's going to watch her back."

Maybe, she adds in her mind, but she refrains from saying it out loud. She might as well have though, because both boys look unconvinced.

"I wouldn't be so sure." Sirius says, but he's not saying it out of spite, rather, it's thoughtful. "I'd say he is a perfect cut-out for Slytherin and no matter the bad reputation that House gets, it's true that they look out for their own interests first."

James nods. "My mum might not look like it, but she was Slytherin when she was at school. She said the same thing, that a Slytherin always looks out for it's own first."

"Your mum was in Slytherin?" Haesel says and though at first it seemed strange now she can imagine why. Dorea Potter does have a way about her though she seems much softer, sweeter than the harsh idea they've just painted of the ideal Slytherin.

"And my Dad was in Gryffindor, so to be honest sometimes it doesn't quite matter. But he seemed like the sort who really buys into the whole House pride thing."

Haesel sits down thoughtfully. "I suppose it may be because he doesn't really has much to take pride in otherwise?"

Both boys muffle a snicker. She frowns at them.

"I'm serious!"

"I thought you were Haesel?" James frowns in return and it takes her a moment and a full out laughing Sirius to understand the joke she just walked into. She can't help but laugh as well, because it is quite funny, except...

"You don't do this every time anyone says that, so you?"

A look of pride is exchanged. "Of course we do!" They say at the same time. Haesel groans, but she's smiling. The previous conversation is almost entirely forgotten as they proceed to tell her all sorts of escapades from the time they were first introduced at a pureblood get together.

It almost makes Haesel forget her initial intentions... Almost.

She stands again and this time succeeds in getting her hand free. "Would you guys watch Boots for a bit? I'll be back soon."

She picks up the kitty and hands him to Sirius, who's trying to keep his face blank. He's not over her naming skills yet and has been teasing her in his letters, saying that if she ever were to marry she should let her husband name the children. Haesel had been very happy that no one had been around to see her face go as red as a firetruck.

But that's in the past and Haesel tries hard not to think about it as she leaves the compartment and heads out in a random direction, looking every so often into a compartment or crossing a carriage to see if she can spot her sister.

She finally finds her to the back of the train. Lily and Snape are in a rather small compartment with two other girls, but there's no conversation or the air of companionship she's left behind in her own compartment. They all look up at her entrance, Lily with a smile and Snape with a barely concealed scowl. He evidently thinks she's taken her side, with how long it has taken for her to find them.

It's indeed almost one o'clock in the afternoon and Haesel is suddenly glad she took her sandwiches with her. She hands Lily hers and after a quiet thank you from her sister they dig in. This remind the others in their compartment of their own lunches and for a while anything anyone can hear is people chewing, which breaks the previous silence, Haesel thinks amused.

"So." She says, when she's finished her last sandwich and fruit juice. She places the apple back to have as a snack later on.

Everyone is looking at her.

"I'm Haesel." She says then, cheerfully. "I know my twin sister Lily and Severus Snape there, obviously, but I'm afraid I don't know you girls yet."

"My name is Mary McDonald." The blond haired girl says, a hint of a Scottish accent coming through. "I'm a first year - you're all first years too, aren't you?"

All of them nod. The other girl, brown haired with sharp blue eyes, introduces herself next as Cynthia Selwyn. She's polite, but keeps her distance as the conversations turns almost inevitable towards Houses.

Cynthia admits a preference for Ravenclaw and Mary for Gryffindor. At this point, Snape can't withheld a snort and Mary is about to try and tear him a new one when Lily suddenly stands, attracting everyone's attention.

"Would you come with me to the loo for a bit, Haesel?" She says, and her voice is cold. Haesel nods, rising to place the paper bag that held her lunch in the little litter basket.

Snape almost rises too, but Lily shakes her head and says "Just Haesel, please."

Haesel can't help but notice she hasn't looked her friend in the eye and wonders what is up with her sister.

They walk towards the nearest loo, which is at the end of the train, in silence. On the way they encounter a lady pushing a cart full of sweets. She asks them if they want one and Haesel pauses for a moment to reach for the sickles her Dad gave her before they'd left the house this morning. She asks for some sugar quills and a couple of chocolate frogs, choosing some of the more unusual sounding things and then hurries to catch up to Lily, who's passed the loo entirely and entered the last carriage of the train which turns out to be a storage carriage for people who don't want their trunk or owl carrier to be with them in their compartment.

Lily sits down on a trunk and Haesel goes to sit beside them. They sit in silence for a bit, sucking their sugar quills before Lily starts talking. She's not sure what to say, exactly, but in the end decides to just come out with it.

"I've been thinking about something Petunia told me yesterday. She took me aside after dinner to have a little talk with me – that's why I was gone for a while."

Haesel nods. She'd been wondering where Lily had been when Mum had helped her check if her trunk contained everything she needed and some extra things she might need. Instead of being there the whole time, Lily had only come back halfway through with a thoughtful frown on her face, the same she's wearing now.

Lily sits up straight and looks Haesel right in the eyes. Green holds green and neither can look away.

"I'm sorry I left you behind." Lily says, and it takes Haesel a moment to understand what she means.

"If you mean in the compartment it's fine – " but Lily breaks her off.

"No, although, I'm sorry about that too, but I mean these last few months. I've always been gone, off doing things with Sev, and I've hardly spend any time with you. We've hardly played anything! I'm really sorry. I got caught up in all the wonderful things Sev could tell me and well, Petunia told me what you two talked about in the beginning of summer, and that she'd tried to help you reverse all of it but I wasn't understanding what the whole point was so she tried to tell me before we were gone."

Haesel is almost afraid to speak. "Which point?"

Lily looks almost outraged. "That you'd ever think I'd leave you behind! That I'd let you go! You're my twin sister, Haesel, even though Mum wasn't always your Mum. It matters not, because you are and to me you'll always be."

There are tears in Haesel's eyes and she doesn't hesitate to hug her sister close.

They hug for a while before Lily draws back. "There's another thing." she admits, frowning again. "I'm worried about Sev.. he's been acting a little weird."

"How do you mean?" Haesel asks. She's got a fair idea where this is going, but she knows she has to let Lily work it out herself.

"Remember the incident in the bank?"

"When James punched him?"

"Yes, then. I know it looked like I was staying away from you two, but I heard him tell what had happened and when I later asked Sev, he told me that James had first insulted him and he'd only responded in kind. I tried to be loyal and believe his version, but well, it didn't go well with how Lady Potter acted, especially compared to Sev's Mum."

She pauses.

"Sev kept going on about it, telling me that some wizards where worse than others because they believed Muggles ought to have the same rights as wizards and everything, and that frightened me. I don't think he knew that I read the magical newspaper, and that sounded exactly like what those Pureblood elitists where saying. Not to mention, what about Mum and Dad? And Petunia? I mean, he insulted her before."

"And then I told him off." Haesel says. There's some happiness about the fact colouring her tone.

"Yes, you did and I agreed with that one, remember? But mostly, what happened today – what happened today twice."

Haesel doesn't have to guess this one. "With the thing about the Houses."

Lily nods.

Haesel is thoughtful for a moment. "I had a bit of a talk about that with Sirius and James."

Lily makes to interrupt, but Haesel holds up her hands. "Wait, let me explain. I said that despite the fact you didn't really liked them –" Lily colours a bit "– you trusted them to guard me. I said I trusted Sev to guard you as well because you're his friend, but they disagreed because they thought that Sev, as a quintessential Slytherin, would perhaps act in his own interests first."

"What does that have to do with..." Lily trails off.

"James said that Sev seemed like the type to buy into the whole House pride thing, and I suspect it might be because he doesn't have much to take pride in to start with. You know, what with what I suspect his home situation is."

Lily nods at this, the corners of her mouth tight. She obviously shares her suspicions.

"Well, maybe that's why he doesn't have a very high opinion of Muggles in general. I don't like that attitude, though. One bad apple doesn't mean the whole harvest is bad, I mean, but still, he's still a boy."

"There's good in him, I know there is." Lily says softly. Haesel hums in agreement. Her twin has the gift to see that, the good in people, Haesel knows she can. Unfortunately, she doesn't share that trait. Haesel is more inclined to be realistic about people, to see beyond what she often wishes to see. That doesn't make her a very good judge of character, though. Neither of them are – Lily sees the good and Haesel sees the bad. Together, that about sums a person up, but apart it's a weakness as well as a strength.

"I do think he needs your friendship, Lils." Haesel says after they've been silent for a while.

"I'm not about to stop being friends with him." Lily notes sharply.

Haesel laughs. "I didn't say that! But I suppose you can make him a better person. Like you've made me."

"I didn't have to do much." Lily says fondly and they banter for a little bit more before returning to the rest of the train. Lily stops in the compartment where Snape sits and then decides to stay there the rest of the trip, so they go to their original compartment for a moment to fetch her school robes which she puts on in the loo. Lily then leaves for her compartment while Haesel goes back to the one she shared with Sirius and James, both of which had greeted them cheerfully when they passed by to pick up their robes.

They've changed into robes themselves and the three of them spend the rest of the trip comparing prank ideas. When it's almost entirely dark, there's an announcement over the speakers that they'll be arriving soon and to leave any baggage behind including pets. Haesel catches Boots who protests at being placed in the carrier again, but by then Haesel is much to exited to mind him.

The train comes to a slow stop and the three firsties put on their cloaks – it seems cold and wet outside – before they leave the compartment and the train.

Outside it's indeed wet, but it's not raining anymore as it was earlier. Haesel is glad for the warm cloak and her trusty red converse, who help her keep her grip on the wet platform.

At one end, a giant of a man is waving a light. "First years, over here! All first years, over here!"

Sirius and James take each one of her hands and pull her along. She's sheltered between them, which saves her from the pushing older students, but means she's not able to look for Lily either, not that she would be able to see over all the other, much taller, students.

They gather around the giant man, who looks very friendly and very wild, and when he has apparently determined he has all of them – Haesel can't really count, but there seem to be at least fifty or more of them – he guides them down a path and to a little beach.

Hogwarts towers over them and the sight is magnificent. Sitting in a little boat, crossing the enormous black Lake, Haesel can't hold back her grin.

She's finally here.

**Hi!**

**Sorry for the delay – I got ill (still am, lots of headaches, pretty awful I can't bear looking at my iPad or laptop for too long) and also I only had an iPad for a while, and I'm pretty bad at typing long texts on that one. **

**I changed a wee bit in Chapter Seven – I added Haesel's wand (quite forgotten that, sorry) so it's there now!**

**I hope you liked the chapter! Next one: the sorting!**

**PS: I can't reply to Saint Bangin because your PM is off, but thank you for your review! It was really insightful, I love it! The answers to your questions lie many chapters ahead, though. **


	9. That going ever onwards

Hagrid leads them up from the underground cavern where they got out of the boats to a little room off a very impressive entrance hall. From behind the huge double doors they can hear voices talking and laughing and many conclude rightly that the Great Hall is just beyond those doors.

There's a witch waiting for them, dressed in dark green robes with her pointy witch hat set at exactly the correct angle to make the best possible impression. Haesel recognises her as Professor McGonagall.

"Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor McGonagall, primary teacher of Transfiguration and head of Gryffindor House." the witch says. "In a moment, I will see if they are ready for you in the Great Hall. When they are, I will lead you in and you will be sorted."

She looks around to see if all of them are properly listening. Satisfied that they are or at least seem to be, she continues.

"The sorting ceremony is a very important event, because while you are here, your House will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your House, sleep in your House dormitory and spend free time in your House common room. There are four Houses, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. Each House has it's own noble history and has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn you points. Any rule breaking will make you lose points. At the end of the year, the House Cup is awarded – a great honour."

She checks again if everyone was listening. Haesel could understand why. While at first she'd assumed there were about fifty first years, now she could see there were more although she had no idea how many, it had to be at least double. She remembered something she'd read in a history book once, which claimed that every year, each House got around fifteen female and fifteen male students. She had wondered how that worked out since mere chance wouldn't stand for it, but she could believe that the amount of students that could apply would be controlled to a nice even number. The selection procedure was probably quite harsh, offering places only to those rich and important to get one – or more likely, to several of the old families of the Wizarding World – and the leftover places were quite probably sorted out and given to the best possible candidates.

Haesel remembered the high scores they had both scored on their end of year tests and wondered how much of their being offered a place was due to that. She knew from her own research that there were several other schools in the British Isles that accepted students, but they were smaller and definitely less prestigious than Hogwarts was. According to one book, rumour had it that a graduate from Hogwarts had few to none difficulties finding a job, often at the Ministry, or gaining an apprenticeship to attain a Mastery.

She resolves to work hard to be deserving of the honour.

Haesel looks up in time to see the back of Professor McGonagall's robes disappear through the big doors that lead into the Great Hall. The noise from within swells and quietens again as the witch passes through.

"How many first year students do you think are there?" She whispers to Sirius. James, overhearing the question, answers before the other has time to do so.

"Around one-twenty, I think."

"One hundred and twenty?" Haesel asks for clarification. Sirius, quite a bit taller than she is, cranes his neck to look around. He nods.

"Hogwarts usually accepts around that much students." James says, not minding the other people gathered around them that are leaning a bit closer to better hear what he's saying. "Most of them are from the older families. For some, such as me, their name was down the moment they were born. It's always been that way."

"Ah," Haesel says. "I thought that much. And then there are some places left that are given to particularly gifted Muggleborn students and others, right?"

Sirius gives another nod. It's clear to Haesel that he's nervous and the most obvious reason is that is the sorting. She wants to take his hand again and repeat 'Brave at heart' – she might as well have it engraved and call it her motto – but there are too many people watching them now.

"Some places are given to scholarship students also, unfortunately." A sour looking girl with long black hair comments and she gives a boy standing near a dirty glance, making clear that she thinks it's a disgrace to let in poor people. The boy flushes. It's obvious from his worn robes and general scruffy appearance that his family isn't as wealthy as James' or Sirius' family is.

"At least they can say talent got them to Hogwarts and not money." Haesel remarks and she inwardly thanks Petunia for teaching her how to deal with bullies.

It's the girls turn to blush now as the surrounding students laugh. The boy, sandy haired with strangely amber eyes, gives Haesel a grateful smile and Haesel winks in return. His smile grows to a grin.

"Good one, Haesel." applauds James and he's grinning. It almost seems like he has no nerves whatsoever, but the way he fists his hands before sticking them in his trouser pockets betrays him.

The sound of the great doors being opened again silences any remark the girl would want to make and the Professor surveys the group sharply.

"They are ready for you now – follow me in an orderly line of two, please."

Eager to get going the first years do as she says. Haesel ends up beside Sirius and behind them James quietly introduces himself to the sandy haired boy. Not many are talking as they are filing into the Great Hall two after two, so Haesel can hear him answer with a polite 'Remus Lupin, nice to meet you too'. She quickly turns and sticks out her hand.

"I'm Haesel Evans!" she whispers excitedly. They're among the last to enter, so Remus has enough time to shake her hand and agree that the acquaintance is happily made. Then it's their turn to enter and Haesel has a difficult time to mask her gasp.

The Great Hall is, true to it's name, enormous. Four long tables stand side by side, mostly filled with students and a long table in the far back, perpendicular to the other four, holds what Haesel presumes are the teachers and professors. High above the tables, already decked with golden silverware, hang a thousand or more gently floating candles that illuminate everything. But the ceiling is even more wonderful; it looks almost exactly like Haesel remembers the sky to be when they were crossing the lake. It's not a far stretch to imagine it's enchanted to show the real sky outside.

She's so busy admiring the Hall that she almost doesn't notice coming up at the front where Professor McGonagall has stopped the rest of the first years. Sirius has to catch her arm to stop her advancement right before she walks right into the back of a tall boy.

She doesn't say anything when he lowers his hand to grasp hers, knowing he needs the comfort and they are concealed by the rest of the group around them.

It grows silent. When the professor is sure they can all hear her, she addresses them again.

"When I call your name, you will come forward, put on the hat and sit on the stool to be sorted." She says, unrolling a truly long looking roll of parchment which Haesel assumes contains their names. She's not wrong, and it feels like a blink of an eye before the students whose last name began with an A have been sorted and the B's are being called forward one by one.

Sirius squeezes her hand. She looks up at him, the relief that all they had to do was try on a hat fading away in concern for her first Wizarding friend.

She squeezes back and says, lowly: "You're talking to me, remember?"

He manages a small smile, clearly remembering their first meeting and looks her straight into her eyes. "Brave at heart." He repeats. She nods solemnly and then -

"Sirius Black!" is called.

There seem to be a great deal of people watching Sirius' sorting, Haesel thinks. James has managed to weasel himself into standing next to her, Remus at his side, evidently just adopted into the brotherhood. Haesel faintly wonders where Lily is because she saw a glimpse of her earlier but the crowd of first years hasn't diminished enough that she can actually see her.

She stands on her tip-toes, hoping to keep Sirius within view as he appears to be arguing, but she cannot see with whom. It's taking some time and she sees how people are starting to murmur among themselves. The other sortings never took this much time. Haesel starts to chant under her breath without noticing it, saying "Come on you can do it!" It isn't until an amused glance from James makes her aware of what she's doing and she wrinkles her nose at him for laughing at her.

She's so busy making faces at James that she almost doesn't hear the hat call out "Gryffindor!" but it's impossible to miss the dead silence that falls afterwards. Haesel resists jumping up and down with difficulty but she doesn't hesitate to clap along with the slightly stupefied table at the far right, which is Gryffindor's.

There's a great grin on Sirius' face and the way he looks at Haesel and James, who are busy cheering for him, makes his happiness well known.

As the next person is called forward there's some commotion in the group, resulting from someone making their way through them. It's quickly revealed to be Lily, who breaks out in a smile when she sees Haesel. Snape has followed in her wake, but he's careful not to look at either Haesel or James, who likewise try not to mind him.

"I've been looking for you." Lily says as she takes Haesel's hand and the twins share a quick grin. Haesel is glad her sister has found them, because she wants to share as much as possible with her.

"Me too!" She agrees and then they're silent again because it doesn't do to talk while others are being sorted. Nerves make the time go by faster and truly it's not long before the D's make place for the E's.

Haesel is called forward first.

She makes her way to the front, accepts the frayed hat from Margaret Ettington who then leaves for Ravenclaw and sits down on the low stool before putting the hat on. It's too big for her and it sinks down on her face, obscuring her view of the Hall.

"_Interesting_." a soft voice says in her ear and now Haesel understand why several people have jumped in fright because she just did the same. "_Easy there, I'm not going to harm you. Just have a wee look into your mind._"

_That's not exactly reassuring_, Haesel thinks.

_I will not betray your secrets, do not worry – I've been sworn to secrecy by Rowena Ravenclaw herself._

_Was this her hat, then?_ Haesel can't help but inquire cheekily. There's silent laughter in her head.

_No, child, it's much to big for that! I used to belong to Godric Gryffindor and on that note, let's get to sorting you._

Haesel doesn't hear anything for maybe a breath and then the voice starts up again. _Difficult, yes, very difficult. Plenty of courage, not a bad mind, prepared to work hard I see? Quite a bit of ambition you have there, Miss Evans. Or should I call you by another name? But never mind that, the time has not yet come._

_The time for what?_ Haesel thinks.

_It's not my place to tell you, child. But to have come here requires a noble mind and courage above all, and where else but_ "Gryffindor!" _will you find your home?_

It takes Haesel a moment to understand she just got sorted yet the hat doesn't seem to be done. _Already you have caused ripples in the fabric of time. I look forward to seeing what you archive, child._

_Bye? _Haesel thinks and when she hears nothing more than a fleeting farewell in return she lifts the hat and hands it to her sister who's smiling in congratulations.

"See you in a bit." Haesel can't help but whisper with a wink and she stows the hat's strange words away in the back of her mind as she meets the eye of an exited James and cheerfully walks towards the table where Sirius has saved her a seat.

Beside a quick grin and some congratulations Haesel doesn't say much, training her attention on Lily at the front of the Hall wearing the hat. It seems to take ages, but Haesel's inner clock says it's less time than she and certainly less time than Sirius wore the hat before it gives Lily her new house.

It's not really surprising that it's Gryffindor, although Lily's loyalty might have earned her Hufflepuff as well, Haesel snickers in her mind. She shoves Sirius a bit aside to make space for Lily, who has given Snape a regretful shrug before sitting down beside her twin.

"He had been hoping we'd be in the same House." she tells Haesel, who's not surprised to hear that. "But I didn't really think it would happen anyway."

Haesel nods and they leave it at that.

The sorting seems to slow down after they've taking their seats. Haesel reasons it might be because they don't really know many people, and the ones they're waiting for such as James and Snape have last names that will take some time. She's glad for the apple she saved for a snack so it doesn't seem like the last time she ate was yesterday as the sorting drags on and more and more people join their new house.

She smiles as those she does know make it to her new House; Remus and Mary McDonald from the train and eventually James, whose sorting takes about the amount of time it takes for him to lower the hat on his head and then immediately take it off again. His grin is wide and proud and he tells anyone who listens that he wasn't frightened because he always knew where he'd end up. Haesel decides to humour him and not mention the nerves she saw him display before, although Lily's eye-roll speaks volumes.

Lily is the only one from the table of 'lions' as they refer to themselves to clap when Snape gets sorted into Slytherin. She shrugs off the odd looks she gets from the others. After the S there are not much students left and it seems to go faster than before. Everyone is glad for it as many are starting to finger their cutlery hungrily. Surely, the headmaster has noticed, for his speech is brief and to the point.

"To all students; I welcome you for another year at Hogwarts! For most of you, this is welcome back and are we ever glad to see you return!"

Haesel isn't sure this sentiment is shared wholeheartedly by every teacher, but she's willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm sure you are all very hungry and so I shall endeavour to keep this brief! The Forbidden Forest is, as it's name states, forbidden for all students. Magic in the corridors is also forbidden, as some of you are wont to forget, and a list of banned items can be found in the caretakers office. Luckily, that is all that is required of me to say, so without further ado; let us tuck in!"

He claps his hands and suddenly the tables are almost groaning under the amount of food they are carrying. Haesel picks up her fork and knife and heads for the baked potatoes.

It's a while before anyone is willing to talk again, hungry as they are it takes in fact for dinner to disappear in favour of dessert before the first years start talking. Some already know each other, but most don't, and introductions are foremost on everyone's minds.

"So we sleep in dormitories, don't we?" A girl with pretty blond hair and a round face questions, after having introduced herself as Alice Little.

Mary McDonald nods. "There are about fourteen of us girls and fifteen of you boys - "

"You've been counting?" Emmeline Vance exclaims incredulously.

Mary gives her a look that questions her intelligence. "No, I just checked."

Sure that she's cowed her into silence now, Mary continues. "My mum told me the biggest dorms get is five people, so that's easy there. We'll hear who we're rooming with for the next seven years in a moment."

Haesel and Lily exchange looks over the treacle tart. What if they're not together?

"For seven years, really? It doesn't change?" A mousy haired boy with watery blue eyes pipes up from the end of the table.

"It usually doesn't." Florence Night answers. "My mum was in Gryffindor too and she told me that she had the same dorm-mates for the whole of it."

"I did hear that they do sometimes change people around." A girl with skin a pretty dark inserts into the conversation. "My uncle was Ravenclaw – the only one in the family, in fact – and he said that once they had to change a girl because she didn't get along with anyone in her dormitory. He said she was pretty awful."

"What happened to her?" Someone asks, Haesel can't see who.

The girl shrugs. "She was bullied, I think my uncle said, and then one day she died."

There are incredulous sounds around the group.

"Just up and died?" Another boy, sitting beside Remus across from Haesel asks.

"My uncle said it was quite mysterious." The girl reveals, clearly enjoying her time in the spotlight. Before she's able to continue though dessert starts disappearing from the table. Most students rise and the first years wait a moment until an older student with a prefect badge comes to collect them, introducing himself only as fifth year prefect Andrew Kirke.

He takes them up several stairs, explaining on the way about the moving staircases and the Gryffindor Tower. He tells them that, seeing as it's a Wednesday, classes will start the next day, but at a later hour than usual. They're to wait in the common room around eight o'clock when the other, female prefect will guide them down to breakfast to get their class schedules. She'll then guide them back to the tower to get the appropriate books and tell them how to get to their first classroom. After that, they're on their own, although older students will always be available to help them find their way in the beginning and for advice on classes.

Haesel tries to print the way they take into her brain, but after eating her fill she's starting to get quite tired. She resolves to pay more attention the next day and leans on Lily shoulder as they climb yet another staircase to stop in front of a portrait of a rather plumb lady wearing a fairly horrible ruffled pink dress.

"This is the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower." The prefect says. "It's password protected. The password changes every so often, so take care to check the board in the common room so you'll not be locked out. Quid Agis."

"Fine, thank you." The portrait says and swings open.

Noting Haesel's puzzled look, Sirius explains it means 'how are you' in Latin, which then earns him a puzzled look from Lily as they enter into a cozy room.

Haesel can't help but fall in love with the room. It's quite wide, with a giant fireplace on one side and plushy arm chairs all over. To the left, some entrances seem to lead to other rooms or corridors while an entrance on the right reveals stairs leading up to a second level. There are alcoves near the windows where groups of people can sit and talk, and the overall scarlet and gold makes for a warm atmosphere. Here and there people are seated, mostly talking to friends or year-mates.

"To the left, you can enter some study rooms and the corridor to the Head Boy and Girl dorms, which are not occupied at the moment and are thus closed off." Kirke explains. "To the right, you can go up to the second level, where more seats and study tables are located."

He points them to door beside the one that he earlier said led to the Head Dorms. "That entrance there is the one to the dorms. First years are on the first level, and the higher you go in year, the higher you move in dorm. When you get to your dorms, girls go to the right and boys to the left. On the doors there will be notes with the names of whoever sleeps in that one. Your luggage is already standing by your bed."

Suddenly he smiles. "Welcome to Gryffindor! I'm afraid first year curfew is in an hour already, so you best get settled."

They nod and troop up the stairs one after the other. At the first landing Haesel hesitates, letting the others go past until only Lily, James, Sirius and Remus have stayed behind. They look at her, wondering why she stayed back.

"I'm glad we're all in here, together." She says and she knows her smile is wide on her face.

Lily nods and hugs her. "Me too." She's mostly looking at Haesel, but the three boys give her smiles as well and Lily goes on ahead to check out their dorm. After a quick goodnight James drags Remus off to do the same until only Sirius remains.

"Thank you." he says and nervously wipes a stray black curl away from his eyes.

"For what?" Haesel asks. They both ignore some older students descending the stairs.

Sirius gives an elegant shrug. "For being there?"

It might have been meant as a statement, but it sounds more like a question.

"That's all right." She says and she steps forward to give him a hug, which he accepts readily. When he squeezes a little too hard and holds on a little too long she doesn't mind it, because she _knows_ how much it means to him that he's a Gryffindor now – that he can finally go his own way despite his family, never mind how scary that prospect sometimes looks.

She shares a dorm with Lily, Alice Little, Mary McDonald and Florence Night. The girls are eager to get to know one another, but they can hardly talk for all the yawning they're doing, so Haesel and Lily write a short letter together for their parents and Lily hands it to Archimedes as Haesel crawls into the four poster bed.

Their beds are beside one another, and there's just not too much space between them that the twins can clasp hands and share smiles before going to sleep.

It's the start of a new life, it feels like and Haesel remembers how happy she was to get here and how little that feeling has left. 

**Hi!**

**Hmm, weird chapter. Had to do a lot of research for this one, especially for classmates, class sizes, all that. I finally decided on a Hogwarts student population of around 840, as that makes a lot more sense than just 280 (which would be the size if every year had only forty students, ten a House) as insinuated in canon. **

**As for names... there are not many characters, students, from the Marauder's Era that I know off, aside from the obvious ones or the ones we think might've been at school during their time there (such as say Lucius Malfoy), so I took names from the Harry Potter wiki and made characters to suit my needs. This means that I tried really hard to keep some sort of canon idea, but most other characters will probably be more OC than anything else. Sorry! I hope you don't mind. I'll try not to make them all awful Mary Sue's or something, but I don't really know what else to do!**

**Also, because of the larger student population, I had to add teachers – hence why Professor McGonagall says she's the primary Transfiguration teacher, not just the Transfiguration teacher – but yet again, I'm going to try to keep OC's to a minimum! **

**Okay, this was a bit of a difficult chapter. I tried to fit the common room to reflect the need for more students as well, setting is a bit weird otherwise – but I'm not going to change much more, I think! Hah, I hereby claim artistic licence and point to the summary which says AU, so there :D**

**Hope you enjoyed and thank you for reading!**


	10. Would mean more

For a first day of classes at a magical school, it's oddly relaxed. Normally they'd have Astronomy at midnight on a Wednesday, so Thursday mornings are class-free and they only have Transfiguration and History of Magic in the afternoon.

Normally they would have had Astronomy on Wednesday night and then Thursday morning off to recuperate, but since they hadn't had Astronomy it was just a free morning. After breakfast the female prefect led them back to the common room and advised them to use this time to settle in, maybe explore a bit of the castle so they at least knew where the library was. Once she had heard the word library, Lily was all for it and so they set off.

Hogwarts' great library deserved the reputation it had gotten, and more, is what Haesel marvels after an hour. She's lost Lily somewhere around the Charms section. Their first lesson after lunch was after all charms and Lily was eager to maybe read ahead.

Haesel snorts. She's fairly sure Lily knows the text book backwards and forwards, and they're only first years. Hogwarts is said to be one one of the best Magic schools in the world but even they won't expect miracles from the beginning. They've got time, yet.

She glimpses a little of the sky outside through a window and sees it's perfectly blue, which means it's a wonderful late summer day outside and she's here inside, almost wasting it away.

She leaves the library and wanders outside. Other students have had the same idea and the grounds are dotted with students. Haesel heads towards the lake first and after a calming half an hour sitting with her feet in the water heads towards the border of the Forbidden Forest. Halfway there she sees James coming up to her, Remus at his side. She's faintly amused at the speed he seems to be integrating into their little group but she's far from minding it. He seems like a nice boy and she's sure they can become great friends.

Contrary to the nice weather and the free morning, their faces are rather glum. As they near her they spot her as well and James changes direction slightly to meet up.

"Hey." He says and he makes a token effort to make his voice cheerful. Haesel carefully raises an eyebrow and James can't help a quick grin.

"James, Remus." She greets them. "Why the long faces?"

Remus gives a shrug and waves with one hand to a big tree growing close to the edge of the Black Lake some of it's roots disappearing into the water. It's so big she can't really see around it, making it an excellent hiding place.

"It's Sirius." Remus finally admits when it's clear Haesel hasn't got a clue why the tree is important. "He's a bit down."

James snorts. "A bit all right! His cousin told his mother that he'd gotten into Gryffindor before he could and she sent him this awful letter, arrived right after breakfast."

That clears up the confused frown Haesel had adopted halfway through because when Lily and her had left for the library all three of the boys had seemed to be in great spirits, joking away. Due to Lily's enthusiasm they had left rather early, so Haesel had thought she wouldn't see her friends until lunch or the Charms class they have afterwards.

"Well, not like she would've been happy about it had he told her either." Remus says with a shrug. "My parents don't go out much, and they don't really belong to the same social circles you or Sirius do, James, but even I know that Blacks usually go to Slytherin and that Sirius' mother is .. Not playing with a full deck, so to say."

Which was, of course, a polite way to say she is a little crazy.

Haesel nods. The comments Sirius had dropped over the course of their friendship indicate as much, really.

James regards her in a new light. "Say, maybe you could try to talk to him? We've tried almost everything from telling jokes to saying nothing at all, but it didn't appear to help much."

"We even talked about pranks." Remus says and there's something like marvel in the way he says it, as if he can't believe they talked about it. Or, Haesel muses, can't believe they talked about it with him.

She mimics Remus' earlier shrug. "I could try, but there's no guarantee I'd do any better than you."

James looks as if he very much doubts that and suddenly Haesel remembers the way he said "So you're Haesel Evans!" When they met in Gringotts and wonders what he'd heard of her.. What Sirius has told him about her.

Remus seems to share James' views but he covers it up with a "You never know, right?"

Giving a last wave, they head on towards the great doors and Haesel proceeds towards the tree. Her earlier idea of it being a great place to hide is proven correctly. The roots make a little hollow that can comfortably shield one person, or two little ones she thinks as she slips down to settle beside Sirius, who beside a covert look to see who's joining him doesn't really acknowledged her.

They sit in silence for a while, Sirius crinkling the parchment of the letter he holds and then smoothing it out again ever so often and Haesel with her feet in the cold lake again, looking down to the ripples she makes in the water. Finally, Sirius breaks the silence.

"My mother wants me to go to the Headmaster and ask to be resorted." He says and Haesel winces a little inside at how dead his voice sounds.

"I don't think that's possible." She says after a bit.

Sirius gives a short barking laugh. "No, it isn't."

They are silent once more, but this time it's Haesel who speaks first.

"What are you going to tell her?" She's honestly curious.

"The truth." He sighs. "Beside, she's probably written to Dumbledore as well anyway, so he'll tell her the same thing."

"Is it honestly that terrible, to be sorted into the House of the Brave?" She knows none of her family would take offence, wherever she went. They'd be equally happy for her.

Sirius doesn't have such a family, though.

"It wouldn't be so bad if it had been Ravenclaw." Sirius muses, putting his arms behind his head and leaning back on them.

"Why?" Haesel asks, again.

Sirius attempts a shrug but it fails due to his position and he drops his arms to either side, letting his head fall back on the tree. Haesel tries not to mind the arm that is almost dangerously close to being around her shoulders. She knows Sirius isn't aware of it nor of the implications the gesture carries, so she endeavours to keep it that way. He's not above teasing her, that she knows well.

"I told you how certain families carry certain.. Alliances." He says, speaking carefully. Haesel nods, despite the fact he's closed his eyes and thus cannot see it, but he goes on regardless. "The Potter family, for example, has always tended towards the Light side of the spectrum while say my family is oriented towards the Dark side of it. Of course, the whole thing is rather rubbish because it's intend that matters most and even the most Light spells can have deadly consequences, but most of the families keep to it almost religiously."

Haesel has read about this in her books, so it's not something she's never heard of before and she supposes it's really not all that different from mundane politics. Nevertheless, she lets him go on without interrupting.

"For a Dark of maybe Grey wizard, cunning and ambition - Slytherin traits - are very important. The Blacks take pride in both. Members of my family have been Minister of Magic, Headmaster of Hogwarts, held high posts in the Ministry or been important in their chosen field of Mastery. I am the scion of the House, the heir to the Black Family. I can't be a reckless idiot."

"But you aren't." Haesel injects into his monologue which has become increasingly morose. "Being noble and courageous is sometimes more important than being cunning or ambitious, because what are you with ambition if you haven't got the nerve to do anything? What use is cunning when you can't see it through? Besides, Gryffindor doesn't mean Light, really. Different people make different choices, no matter their dominant traits."

She pauses, looking out over the lake. "I think that being a Gryffindor means not being afraid who you are, not being afraid to stand up for that which you believe in, daring the world to come and prove you wrong because you aren't."

She glances back. Sirius is looking at her intently, grey eyes sharp even though their half closed position invites the idea he's only half awake.

"I.." Haesel doubts for a second, weighting her words. It'll be the first time she's told anyone this, will it be alright? She fears having it out in the open, but that's almost irrational. This secret cannot hurt her. She doesn't think he'll allow it to.

"My Mum used to have a younger sister, my Aunt Ianthe. She traveled often with her husband and she was godmother to Lily and I, so we sometimes went with them for some travels. When Lily and I were eight, we were supposed to join them in Germany but Lily got ill and it was decided only I would go."

Sirius is in silent in turn, curious to see where this is going to lead.

"There was a car accident, a drunk driver late at night. Uncle Erwin, he was the least hurt of the three of us. He managed to free himself and then got me out. When he went back for Aunt Ianthe, the car exploded. I was the only survivor."

Haesel scratches her left shoulder. The wounds have healed and left only silver spider web scars behind, but sometimes she thinks she can feel how everything hurt and she couldn't move, the first time she woke up properly in the hospital in London.

"Dad told me this, from a witness account. I was heavily wounded, all over – they feared I wouldn't make it, those first few weeks." She's got difficulty admitting the following. "I have amnesia. I don't remember anything before waking up in the hospital, nothing from the first eight years of my life."

Haesel doesn't dare looking towards Sirius, instead rummaging in her bag to find her notebook. The black Moleskin is the first thing she was given after waking up and initially it was meant to write down anything she maybe remembered, but when no memories came she'd started writing what she learned, things she wanted to know or places she wanted to visit. She shows it to Sirius, pointing out the carefully taped in photo she has of the Grandma she's never known. The most important photo she keeps tucked in the little pocket at the back and she's careful when she pulls it out. It's a holiday photo Aunt Ianthe send to Mum of the three of them standing, all dressed up in front of the Munich Opera. The back reads 'Munich Opera Festival 30th June 1968'.

She hands it to Sirius, who flips it over to read the note on the back and then stares at the photo itself some more. It's in colour. Younger Haesel is wearing a pretty patterned blue dress with a black cardigan and low sandals. Her smile is wide as she holds the hand of the pretty woman standing next to her, who's smiling at her husband.

"Why?" Sirius asks. "Why tell me this?"

Haesel lowers her eyes in thought as she tucks the photo away and then slips the notebook back into the shoulder bag that she's taken to carrying around in preparation to classes.

"I don't know, I mean, I hardly know who I am, but I want to be the best I can. I want to be strong enough to be whoever I want to be?" She carefully does not think how half of what she's just told him is a lie, how not her aunt and uncle died but her own parents but the lie has become her life and she's going to live it, now. "There might not actually a point to it." She laughs lightly. She hoped once that maybe, the fact she's told this to someone would lighten some kind of invisible burden, but the fact it's still a lie makes something burn in the back of her throat.

"Maybe despite the fact I've got a family I sometimes still feel as if I don't have anywhere to belong?" She says finally. "Maybe it's that despite the years past, the support I've been given, I still feel lonely sometimes?"

Haesel shrugs. She's become used to it, in the wee hours of the night, looking at Lily's sleeping figure in the bed opposite by the slight moonlight coming through badly closed curtains, laying awake and wondering how and who she used to be and just what she has lost, maybe in more ways than just one.

Sirius gives a low sigh, glancing at the crumpled letter. He's not sure what he's going to reply, because he doesn't really know what could bring his mother to accept the person he wants to be, the values he holds dear that are definitely not those she advocates. He quietly dreads the confrontation that will await him when he gets home and has already decided somewhere in the back of his mind not to leave Hogwarts until he can't stay anymore. Which means he has until the summer to come up with a plan.

It's not as if he had wanted to write to anyone – his father is uninterested in his children, choosing to take care of the matters of the Black family first and foremost, his mother has nothing better to do than terrorise them between the social events she attends and his little brother is a follower if he's ever seen one, so no hope there.

He had wanted to leave it all behind, but now he sees it was a foolish hope. He is, as he told Haesel just minutes before, the Heir to the family, expected to take up the mantle of head after his father dies. All his life he's been carefully groomed and all his life he's tried to defy it. Getting into Gryffindor had been a distant wish and now he's actually done it he can't seem to enjoy it.

Sirius leans his head against the tree once again, staring up at the swaying branches and blue sky up above. He knows ignoring his mother won't work, even if she won't employ a howler 'because it is beneath a Pureblood, purebred lady to air her laundry in public' she will find a way to make her displeasure known.

Ah well, there's no more use in worrying about it. There's nothing he can do but try to put a spin on it, saying something like it's the ultimate strategy by making them all trust him because he's a goody two shoes Gryffindor while getting close to the sons and daughters of the enemy or something like that. He's had to blatantly lie and claim things his mother had never thought of before and if he can get away with a prank like that on her it would be the best. Uncle Alphard always did say that sometimes you just had to tell people the things they want to hear.

This thought makes him stare at Haesel thoughtfully. What does she want to hear? She's told him something she was obviously conflicted about, but now she's just staring out over the lake, mind far away. There's conflict on her face, written in the furrow of her brow and the way she's biting her lip and he wants to distract her from her worries, the way he wants to distract himself from his own.

Besides, the day is far to beautiful to be let down by heavy thoughts like these.

"Be careful with thinking – I've heard that you can get lost in the unfamiliar thoughts." It's not a very good one, considering all the cheeky things he has said over the course of his life, but it does the job. She looks at him, merry green eyes dancing and the worries chased far.

"It's like you would know." She says and she tries the brow-arching again, which still looks not at all impressive and just cute.

Sirius goes to give her a little shove for those words, but he fails to go through with it when he noticed he's basically half hugging her with his arm around her shoulders and he. Hasn't. Noticed.

Time to take advantage of that, then!

With a playful grin he wraps the arm around her securely and drags her tight against his side. She squeaks and goes red and he laughs. It's not that bad, he supposes, as long as one has friends to remind them of the important things in life, such as pranks and laughter.

Haesel is still miffed at him when they enter the Great Hall for lunch ten minutes later. It doesn't take long to spot their friends, who are sitting somewhere in the middle of the Gryffindor table already eating. James sees them first and almost sprays Remus with crumbs as he opens his mouth to call them over despite the sandwich he's in the process of eating.

Surprisingly it's not Remus who calls him out on that, but a snide "It's impolite to open your mouth when chewing." from Lily, who's sitting with Mary and Florence closer to the boys than Haesel would have thought.

She grins at her sister as she goes to sit beside her, leaving Sirius to join James and Remus. She knows she can't leave them alone for long as they're planning the first prank they're going to start the school year with but she still needs some girl time as well. They have a pleasant conversation guessing the content of their first Charms lesson and making up amusing things about who their teacher is going to be. At one point, Florence is saying she hopes it's a he and he will be handsome, someone buts into their conversation.

"You're first years, right? So you'll probably have Professor Flitwick." The boy seems at first glance just another first year, but he's definitely not one of them Lily quickly realises and she pounces the chance to get more information from someone form second year. Haesel gets bored around the time they talk about second year classes, but the mention of the first year electives pulls her back in. The prefect from this morning explained briefly that beyond the core subjects such as Potions, Transfiguration and History there are some three more classes the first years can choose to take if they want to, which go until third year t

The boy, whose name Haesel hasn't caught, explains that while Magical Theory is interesting, it's not very interesting if you aren't planning on taking a Mastery in Charms or Transfiguration, but according to an older student he's got his information from it is handy if you're planning on taking Arithmancy in third year. He, on the other hand, is thinking of becoming maybe an Auror or a curse breaker – Haesel think both sound pretty exiting – and thus prefers to just take Ancient Studies, which covers what History doesn't and is all around more interesting anyway.

When asked why, he shrugs and say "You'll see."

"But what about Culture?" Alice has by now also come down to eat and followed to conversation with interest.

Unnamed Boy thinks on it. "Obviously most of you have had things like etiquette and ballroom dancing already, but well my mum made me take it and it wasn't so bad, actually. The Madame knows some funny ways to insult someone politely and really it's just having afternoon tea with a bit of instruction."

"So it's worth taking?" Lily asks.

"If you're muggleborn, it might be in your best interests, because it deals with a lot of things most magically grown up children have known about all their lives and this way you won't appear to be uncultured." Unnamed Boy answers and really Haesel needs to know his name this is embarrassing.

Lily seems a little insulted, but Haesel gives her a quick poke and a silent warning to leave it.

"Just a nice spot of tea drinking with polite conversation, then." She sums it up and the boy laughs.

"Mostly, yes." His own friends motion for him to join them and he leaves them with a friendly bye.

"I think I'm going to take all of the electives." Lily announces and Haesel is not surprised. She's not the only one who's reluctant to declare the same, she realises when Alice and Mary have the same look she feels is on her face.

"I'm not very interested in Magic Theory." She says. Lily gives her an amused look. They both remember Haesel lamenting the fact that Hogwarts doesn't have any Physical Education classes outside the mandatory flying class. Ever since she's recovered enough to do things again Haesel has had a thing about being able to move.

"Me neither." Alice agrees. "Though I suspect my mum would want me to take Culture."

"I've got that in writing." Mary says and her voice is anything but enthusiastic.

"I might take Ancient studies though." Haesel adds thoughtful. "Curse breaker sounds pretty exiting!"

Florence grimaces. "I'm expected to gain an eventual Mastery – my whole family has at least one – so I'll probably have to take both Ancient Studies and Magical Theory. But I'm not taking Culture, my grandmother has drilled me on everything she could possibly think of already, I don't reckon I need any more instruction!"

The other girls laugh at her expression and then they all have to try and find the Charms classroom for their first ever lesson in anything magic.

It's a thoroughly bored and annoyed Haesel that dumps her bag on the cough in the common room beside James more than two hours later. She flops down beside it, nudging the boy out of the way.

Remus and Sirius are sprawled likewise on two armchairs facing the cough and their bags are sitting on the low table in the middle. Remus is checking his schedule, likely trying to memorise it and Sirius is observing her with the same obvious amusement as James is.

"History was so boring! At first I thought that maybe because our teacher is a ghost – and apparently our teacher is a ghost! - that would mean that he's surely lived though some of it and has interesting stories to tell but come on! I know History can be exiting but this? This isn't it."

She's crossing her arms and frowning heavily by the end of it and all three boys are now outright laughing at her. It doesn't stop her from continuing.

"Also, I don't get why Lily found Charms so exiting. It was an introduction to magic! I read about all of that ages ago. It's like going back to the very basics!"

Remus makes a sound in the back of his throat which might have been a chuckle. "Not all of us are geniuses like you and your sister, you know. Some of us need those basics."

Sirius snorts. "Like you needed them."

James gives an agreeable nod. "We all didn't. But that boy, you know the one that tried to move dormitories? He might."

"He definitely needs them." Sirius says.

".. He didn't give off a very bright impression, I must admit." Remus says after a little silence where he was obviously trying to find something nice to say.

"You've lost me." Haesel remarks. "Which boy?"

"Remember those lists hanging on your dormitory doors yesterday with all the names?"

"No." Haesel says and gives James a look that clearly questions why he felt the need to say that. "Why should I? It only ever told me I would be rooming with my sister for yet another seven years."

"Sarcasm aside, which by the way I am telling Mum about-"

"Wait why are you going to tell that to your mother?" Remus questions, trowing them entirely off track. "I thought you weren't related or anything?"

James gives a very put upon sigh. "She wanted to be kept updated about what all my female friends did, and I quote, 'for the novelty of it all'."

The others descend into laughter and Sirius and Haesel regale Remus with the tale of the ice cream meeting in Diagon Alley.

"Anyway, back to the original story." James says and he glares at them, which only serves to make their grins widen. "On the second door there was this note saying we slept there, all three of us, and two more boys, Edward and Hamish, you've met them at breakfast."

"Oh right those two." Haesel says as she remembers the two boys who were nice but obviously already very good friends and in no need to gain more beyond pleasant acquaintances.

"Yes well we're all putting on our pyjamas when this boy comes in and claims he's 'supposed to be in this room and some boy changed the names!'" James is obviously trying to mimic another's voice, high and reeling with an obvious whine in it. "We checked the notes, and it was true-"

"I suspect Hamish, he seems like the type." Sirius randomly inserts and James ignores him, going on like there wasn't any interruption.

"-but none of us were admitting to it, so in the end we had to call the prefect to get it settled."

Remus takes over. "Prefect Kirke seemed a bit annoyed at all of it, but well mostly at that boy, because he was going on and on about being deprived of his dorm room and everything. In the end he simply said that as we had already all started to settle in the boy just ought to take his luggage and move dorms. But that was the strange thing, his luggage was already in the other dorm and all of ours was in our dorm as well, which means someone decided to change the names before we got here."

"I still suspect Hamish, though." Sirius says.

"What?" he questions when they all look at him strangely. "My mother has no qualms writing the headmaster, I don't reckon she's the only one! Some parent must have requested their children to room with this or that person provided they make the House, and as Hamish's father is on the Board of Directors I think he's our best bet."

"That was remarkably thought out." Remus comments, as if he can't believe Sirius is capable of using logic. Sirius lungs at him to show how offended he is and Haesel and James cheer them on as they tumble over the armchair Remus was siting on, making entirely too much noise and commotion for a couple of fresh firsties.

Not like they care, Haesel thinks – and not like this is the least they are going to do, because the pranks they're planning and the things they're going to do are definitely going to bring them more attention.

She grins and cheers on Remus as he elbows Sirius and then changes alliances and cheers Sirius on who's managed to get Remus in a headlock.

Nah, they'll do whatever they want to, because normal is overrated anyway.

**Hi!**

**Sorry for the rather longer wait – I can only say I got my results (passed all of my finals hell yeah!), then got ill (again), classes started again and gosh not fun how much work we already have and then my cold came back (also again. I love Winter, I do, but if Spring means no more illness I'm gladly moving on).**

**Anyway, might update slower because of uni, yep. Thank you all for reading! I love the feedback, really :D it's a huge support!**


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